Holiday 2006

Chrismas! Gavin tiptoed downstairs in the dark, lit the tree, and dove into his loot. He doled out gifts, successfully reading his name on the labels, and tore open more Cars merchandise than I thought should exist. I stomped around in my new boots ("they're like hooves!"), Mike ate cockroach clusters, and my mom took up her usual position on the couch to peer through reading glasses at her new electronics.


Gavin instucts cat on proper use of cardboard catnip scratcher:

I embark on my first monumental parent assembly job: a PlayMobil castle. Impossible to achieve without monkey toe socks:

An hour later... success! Gavin says "meh":

Singing the doom song:

Me shamelessly posing with new earrings and cashmere sweater:




Highlights of weekend:

Gavin ripping open present, seeing the Cars logo, and exclaiming, "Oh no! Not another one!"

Texting Mike to nag him about groceries and hearing "Heartbreaker" wail from the table where he forgot his phone. Guess he changed my ringtone. Asshole.

Discovering that Santa had stuffed smoked oysters and beef jerky in my stocking. Looked fruitlessly for stinky cheese and crusty bread to complete meal, but it was a good start.

4 words: pink. rubber. cowboy. boots.

Caught with bottle opener, I suffer humiliation over twist-top bottles.

Rock-n-roll fruitcake, ready to pull our eyeballs out of our heads.

Drunk neighbors take break from smashing furniture to warble carols in the parking lot, I am about to go outside and throw salted nuts at them.

"Wow, this dead meat air freshener is the worst present I have ever gotten. Thanks." You're welcome.

The oven caught fire when the meat pie and sausage-apple dish bubbled over.

Gavin with toy soldiers on edge of castle, yelling, "I wave my private parts at your auntie!"