New girl

Yuri sniggered at me as she got off the phone. "Looks like we're going to have another Holly Mac working here, you're not special anymore." The new girl arrived a bit later for her interview, accompanied by her brother-in-law, the guy who sits next to me in class (who also works at our library). He was immediately suckered into working the desk while Yuri took the new Holly down to meet the head of circulation, and we stood around being very cool and making fun of people. After they left, I asked Yuri if we should warn the new girl that our mild-mannered vegan co-worker is a horndog on the prowl. He might try out his new interpersonal skills on her, as I have been doing my best to teach him how to be a hussy after he sulked at me about being a loser with women. I'm not really the best person to teach him about flirting, but I told him everything I know from the Discovery channel, since he wasn't buying my spiel on serendipity. Poor lonely little vegan.

I'm hungry, with another 3 hours until quitting time, but at 6pm I'll head over to the cafe for some dinner with Yuri while I wait for my mom to get back from her performance at the state fair. Hummus! Fresh pita! Chai!

sleepy time

Mike managed to revive me a bit as he drove me to work this morning, giving me the chance to sing along loudly with Tenacious D ("... I'm not gonna cook it, but I'll order it from ZANZIBAR!") and we stopped at the cafe for tea and cheesecake before I headed across the street to the library. I'm feeling more myself today, despite the fact that I fell asleep on the couch this morning (I don't like naps). Yuri insisted that my problem was hunger-based, and spread out an array of snacks to join my sad carrot sticks and Altoids (but I just had cheesecake!). She warned me about the bean dip, but we decided that a case of food poisoning would at least give my doctors something concrete to work with.


This had better pass in a hurry, though, because tomorrow will be a hectic day, with Father's Day, the State Fair dance performance, and work. Monday promises adventure, as well, as I have an early doctor's appointment to discuss my blood work, followed by my mother's birthday celebration, class, a group homework session, and open mic night. If I have survived to Tuesday, I might have a few moments to put my head on straight and get focused for my presentation on Friday.

In the meantime, I will be manning the desk, on guard for reporters who might come snooping around to investigate the identity-theft ring that was just uncovered - involving the person who used to have Yuri's job. Our under-rated library is getting some press. Yes, it's not all perverts and smelly salami guys, we have organized criminals here, too!

librarian rant

My professor handed out an article about the detrimental effects of "info-mania", claiming that excessive e-mail and cell phone use drop our IQ by 10 points per session, compared to 3 points with marijuana use. My discussion group questioned the validity of the sources, and I argued that people never like to work, and would just be playing hangman on paper during meetings if they didn't have their text messaging, so what's the difference? All three of us assumed this was a hypothetical corporate scenario. It wasn't, it was about public library users. My professor wanted us to talk about ways to protect library users from their own stupidity and to educate them on the harmful effects of their personal interests. I stared at him. Some of our class threw out suggestions about time limits except for scholarly research (whatever means they judge THAT by) and monitoring systems to prevent "misuse". I noticed that it was those of us with "bad attitudes" who were horrified by this conversation, sitting with our mouths open. "And then, after they enter their personal information, they can enter their IQ, too, and that would determine how much time they get," said Mat. The class laughed and then went straight back at it. Oh, for the sake of the children! Give me a fucking break. If you catch someone breaking the law by looking up porn in front of children, or masturbating in public, you toss them out or call the cops, you don't deny access for everyone else! But it goes beyond porn, they were asserting that personal email and web surfing should be limited and discouraged. How about we get rid of the fiction section, too? Or how about those naughty romance novels? Ban them all! "So what should we do?" concluded our professor. "Distribute marijuana?" suggested Mat.

I was so upset by this anti-information conversation amongst librarians that I pried my fingernails out of the table after class and went home to administer myself a bit of liquor. This class is going to cost a fortune in booze if it keeps up like this.

Field trip

I have slandered Hotel Street; we only saw two hookers, and there were only seedy bars, no strip clubs. I apologize, downtown Honolulu.

After feeling very invigorated by listening to loud music on the ride over, I parked in the scariest parking garage ever and browsed Chinatown with a classmate until the rest of our group had arrived. We set off, pointing and gawking with our little maps like a group of tourists. A man yelled at us that we had no right to be happy, we are at WAR! But we ignored him. Two of our librarians clapped their hands over their eyes at the sight of a bikini poster as though their faces were being burned off. "Old married ladies," Yuri winked at me.

Yuri herself:



A gaggle of librarians:



Wo Fat and Christmas tree in window:



The lovely downtown police station:



Dead lizards can cure anything:



My professor:



My reflection, because nobody would take a picture of me:

promotion material

Yuri and I met at the cafe to drink tea over a group homework project. We examined a detailed 1832 map of Molokai to identify the cartographer's symbols and develop a legend against three other early maps, to figure out similarities. With our brain-boosting beverages, we finished the job in no time, and walked down to Yuri's place to waste a few hours before my appointment with my new internship director. We stopped at 7-11 for snacks, and walked around back to Yuri's studio apartment, waving at all the stray cats. Yuri poured us a couple of rum & cokes, and introduced me to DVR. I sometimes have a bit of Kahlua and milk before bed, and it has never done anything except relax me a bit, but rum turns out to be a sledgehammer to the head. Halfway through my glass, I turned my head and discovered that my brain hadn't followed. Yuri saw me sloshing my head back and forth in a telling manner, said that my face had turned red, and took away my cup. An hour later, I stood up to use the bathroom and the floor slipped sideways, smacking me with a wall.

"How am I supposed to go meet with L. about the internship like this?"

Yuri, who works with L., waved her hand dismissively, "She'll never notice. Just tell her I gave you a rum & coke, she'll understand."

I was fully prepared to cancel my appointment, but another hour passed and I found my feet again. We walked back up to campus, and I actually managed to have a really good interview with L. As I fetched Yuri from her office in the library, the head of circulation looked at me and said, "What about her, then?" It seems there was some question about who to train for the next promotion, and I volunteered by showing up. Yuri said it would be done, and we flounced off to class (ordinarily I find the term "flounce" offensive, but it is, in fact, what we did). We studied maps for the next 3 hours, and I came home to discover that, in my absence, Gavin had sat through the entire showing of Madagascar at the theater with my mom. Every time I take Gavin to the movies, he claps his hands over his ears and cries until I take him home, and we had just attempted to see this very movie only 3 days ago. Apparently, this is an act he reserves for me, and he enjoyed the dancing animals very much with his grandma. Annoying. At least Mike has promised that he will watch Gavin while I see the dancing lemurs one of these days. At some point, I'll get to see a whole movie in one sitting.