Tldr nothing happened

Edit: I want to add that this post was saved as a draft a few days ago and I just hit “publish” on it so it wasn’t sitting in my folder. I’ve been reading the news closely and I’m very moved by the Ukrainian resistance. This dress shit doesn’t matter at all, and I know it.

My mother raised me on Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Janis Joplin, and - incongruously - the smooth elevator jazz of the Manhattan Transfer. In high school it gave my peers whiplash when my mix tapes would switch from Immigrant Song and Iron Man to Java Jive, and this jarring uncoolness contributed to the loss of at least one boyfriend. 

I LOVE COFFEE I LOVE TEA I LOVE THE JAVA JIVE AND IT LOVES ME

They were the rogue skittle in my bowl of ‘70s rock M&Ms. I haven’t listened to them in a long time, but I still break into falsetto when it’s time to embarrass my kids.

So when my mother texted me to say the Manhatten Transfer would be performing at a jazz club in Waikiki this weekend, I said heck yeah I'd go with her. Bought a dress and some high heeled shoes and everything.

And then, of course, the band got Covid, so the show is off. Took some selfies in the dang dress anyway. Did not fall off the piano bench trying to get a full shot in heels, but do not recommend.

Bought the dress in black so I could wear it again to family funerals, because that is the kind of fun-minded party-goer I am.

My kids said I looked like a real mom. My orthopedic boots demanded an apology.

close shave, lady

In the evening, traffic gets backed up through every stop light as the after-work military crowd heads back to the base. A few nights ago I was stuck in this line of cars on a run to the grocery store, inching along with all the rest of the flashing brake lights. A shirtless young man was on the sidewalk, shiny with sweat and spinning a NO PARKING sandwich board on one of its legs like a dance partner. I was watching him, wondering about what drug he was on and whether his family was looking for him, when a woman on my right suddenly ran between the slowly creeping cars. One side of the highway had been re-paved, and there was a 2-inch ridge in the middle where the new pavement met the old. Her foot hit that ridge and she fell headlong across the empty turn lane, landing flat on her stomach with her head under the back wheel of a car. The driver hadn't seen her, and the car rolled forward. There was a yell from all of us in traffic, thinking we were about to see her head crushed, but the woman got her hands under her and lifted her head to the side just as the tire rolled over her hair and brushed along her cheek. She got up and ran to the sidewalk, adjusted her pants a bit shakily, and walked on. The shirtless man dropped the sandwich board and pretended to be sober as she passed by, then checked to see if it was okay when she turned the corner.

Lady. Holy shit. I’m really glad I didn’t have a front row seat to your gruesome death. 

Use a crosswalk from now on, please.

Okay

Which one of you drove by the library absolutely blasting Careless Whisper on your car stereo?

Stop that.

Botanical gardens

 It is a crime that we don’t walk over to the gardens more than once a year.

The gulch where the Green Lady witch lives 

Upside down tree, what are you doing?

These guys look good in stripes 

My daughter with resting painter’s-model face

Brian Froud designed this flower, probably

The stairs my kids wouldn’t let me lead them down because they’d have to walk back up 

Spider web

Middle-aged flower dgaf 

Maybe an ent

Oh sure, stairs are out of the question but steep ramps to nowhere are fine

Red leaves and little sprinkles of white flowers

Looking up is the best bit

Also, got a new hibiscus plant. We have 5 varieties now. If I can’t grow vegetables, damn it I’ll have flowers.

Hourly comics day 2022

I tried to play along this year. Here’s my day. Nobody swore at me!