birds and kittens

After more than 10 years of finding no orphans on our porch (the only way we get new pets), the babies are suddenly landing on us left and right. First PoPoPo, our new black kitten, who is, as I type, swinging from the lampshade, and then our new little bird, Mugwort Returns. Yesterday Mike and I walked up to the grocery store, Gavin hidden under a blue umbrella in his stroller against the not-quite-rain. I saw a man step distastefully over a small lump of something on the sidewalk, and I took a peek at it to make sure it wasn't cat poop. It might have been in a few days, but at the moment it was a tiny fledgling bird, still bald and mostly mouth. I picked it up from its graceless splatted sprawl on the concrete. When I was a child, my mother had successfully raised two baby birds to adulthood, but more often the little things died overnight. It is not a happy thing to find a baby bird, but we finished shopping and brought it home, dumping it on my mother. She made a shoe box nest for it and managed to poke watery bits of bread and peanut butter into it with a blunt toothpick. All is hopeful for Mugwort R. (the birds of my childhood were Mugwort and Mugwort II). But as we settled in for bed, a howl came from outside and my mother ran outside to help rescue a tiny kitten who was stuck in our neighbor's undercarriage. An hour and a half later, my mother returned without the kitten, then spent the rest of the night going out to try again as the kitten periodically cried. She'll probably have better luck this morning, and then we will then have 3 babies in our care. I sort of like this, except for the lack of sleep. After a week and a half of 6-hour nights, I'm TIRED. In other news, I received an unusual phone call from one of my best high school friends, who lives in rural Mexico picking fruit and recording music and throwing concerts with his commune of musicians. He is coming to visit on Monday. 

 No exciting tales from the field trip to the Grossology Exhibit - except that it was really gross, as promised.  Student at the smelling station: "What is this smell? I think it's armpit." *poke* Beep - wrong. Student: "Maybe it's foot." *poke* Beep - wrong. Student: "Maybe it's -" Teacher: "It's anus! Anus already!" *poke poke poke* Beep - correct.

hot stuff

This weekend is the Highland Games Redux, since the festival got flooded out in April. Last night, after setting up the tea tent, Gavin and I hung out in the back of our friend's truck, and I told him about having a truck when I was a kid. He listened to my story of the killer windshield-smashing ice balls, the story of the kid getting run over by his truck and smashed into the mud unharmed, and my stories of camping in the back of the truck with three cats under a 50-foot fiberglass cow. He patted my shoulder encouragingly, "Mom, tell me more stories!" Amazing, I've known him all his life and suddenly he's able to get to know me, too. Neato.

Busy, dehydrated, heat-strokey day at the festival. Drove the boys home a bit early and took them to see Cars again so we could cool down in the A/C and suck down liters of liquid. Losing personal battle against caffeine, need more sleep.

sad today

Went home and made stuffed potatoes. Stirred potato on plate and threw it out. Went with family to dance practice at Windward Community College as night fell. Mom complained that I don't make enough time for her. The kids rolled down the slope of hill while I sat on the wall at the top under the banyan tree. Gavin's blinky shoes made him look like a firefly way down there with my wee cousin. My aunt told me her house finally sold, then dropped a towel around my shivering shoulders as she went back in to dance. I was just sitting and thinking and my eyes got all blurry and hot so I wiped them on the borrowed towel. Gavin and Chris ran up and laid dandelions next to me, then tumbled down the hill again in the wet grass. I clutched the towel around me and laid down on the stone wall, watching the stars between the branches of the banyan tree, looking for UFOs. Only saw the universe.

Was supposed to wake up Mike at 3:45am to go to news station for a highland performance. Woke up at 2:30am to watch Gavin breathe, sleepily convinced he was swallowing too much and was about to vomit in his sleep (paranoid because Chris had stomach flu), fell back asleep and had bad dreams about being useless (unable to keep book from being destroyed), woke up tear-stained and puffy-eyed at 5am to mother exclaiming about the time. Mike leaped up, pulled on pants, kissed me, and drove away on his motorcycle in 7 minutes. Went into the bathroom and stood staring stupidly at the scale for a bit. Washed face, put on dress, ate cereal, sat for half an hour with mom listening to her explain how I never sit with her. I love her. I want more time with her. I want more time alone. I want more time with Gavin. I want more. A lot more.


edit: and I think I am getting sick. Need nap, can't have one. Wah.

Auuuugh

Bikini wax. We knew where this was headed the minute we opened the jar.

"Pain and irritation free!" Ha ha ha. My mom was on the phone with her sister, periodically walking by the bathroom and laughing at us between screams. Very helpful. Gavin, busy with his trains, poked his head in a few times and said, "What are you guys doing?" "We're pulling mommy's leg hair off with hot wax, sweetie." "Why you do that?" "Well, we don't really know. It's Wednesday night, what else do you do?"

What I have learned about hot wax:

1. Let it cool a little
2. Blood makes it hard to re-stick a spot, so you better do it right the first time
3. Fast. Do it fast.
4. Bikini wax doesn't work so well on knees and toes for some reason
5. It works great on men's nipples
6. Don't get any on the cat
7. Don't believe the box about anything. Ever.
8. The "soothing cream" was designed to add insult to injury
9. Be frugal with the cloth strips, they don't give you enough, probably just to have a laugh

Having run out of strips, we went to bed. Mike was missing patches of fur. I was covered randomly in rashy bumps. We changed Gavin into his jammies and brushed his teeth, then he ran into my mom's room for his nightly wind-down routine. While Mike washed up, I got in my jammies and spread out on the bed - unfolding a suspicious rumple of blanket with my foot and sliding my leg straight through a hidden pile of fresh kitten poop.
 

Perfect.

Scotch and Scones

Everyone loves a society bash! We arrived in style, chatting over cocktails with other Scottish folk before dinner. My mom's sweetie, Ron, was decked out in his kilt and military regalia, seated across from an adorable tiny old catholic priest who happens to also be an ex-marine. They didn't like each other.
"I always wanted a son like him," said the Father to the man next to him, indicating Ron. "A nasty, nasty son. Just look at him. Hey!" he called across the table, "What are you doing sitting way over there?"
"If I was sitting any closer you'd be kicking me under the table," said Ron.
"No, no... I'd hit you with my belt buckle."
"You hit me with that belt buckle and you're not getting it back."
"You see how nasty he is?"

Gavin teamed up with another 3 year old boy, who's mother was wilting with frustration by the end of the night as her (usually sweet) son screeched, kicked, snatched toys, and knocked over things while Gavin stared at him in concern. There were some older kids who herded the two little boys to a quiet corner and kept them busy. Maybe having an older kid and a little kid would work out pretty well. Hmm.

Pictures:

All dolled up for the dinner:



Mike wears his new kilt shirt:



Gavin discovers the kiddie table:

Gavin vs Chris

My son has a nice dark sense of humor, and my cousin does not.

"I got a boo boo on my hand," bragged my cousin in a whine.
"Oh no, we'll have to cut it off. Then we'd have to cut off the other one to make it even," I said.
"No!! I don't want you to cut off my hands!!" shrieked Chris.
Gavin cackled happily.

"Gavin! Eat your meatballs or I'll tie you to the ceiling fan and beat you with a stick!" I said.
Gavin says through a mouthful of meatball, "I go round and round, hit hit hit hit! Ha ha ha"
Chris throws down his fork in horror, "Noooo!"

Where did this child come from?

koi door

138 (cookies)

Gavin crawled under the coffee table at the goodbye party and sighed heavily. The RSCDS reminisced about the 15 years they had been coming up to the apartment for drinks and snacks every summer, my mother's sweetie started a discussion about the Da Vinci Code (he likes to throw grenades, and our group is a mixed bag of non-religious and catholics). The curmudgeon in our group was not happy with his return to our dance group, rolling her eyes as he cracked jokes and joined the dances.

The kid and I were glad to go to bed. I woke up before the birds, tip-toed into the bathroom (watching out for cat poops) and washed up. First day of school. Yesterday I spread out a door-sized sheet of dark green construction paper on the library floor and stared at it for a good 10 minutes before going at it. I cut out water from white paper, glued an orange cutout of a koi on top of it, decorated the paper with bright red and yellow flowers, and went into detailing with a sharpie. I used my white-out to create highlights across the scales. Taped it up, and now my door is so cool. Teachers poked their heads in all day to ask, "Did you draw that?" which confused me because it was a collage, but it was nice anyway. Today I need to carve the school's name into 6 large pieces of audio equipment, so I get to have at it with a power tool. Watch out.

party party

Late in the afternoon, Mike pulled out an image disc given to us years ago by "Pee-ah an' Ch'ysa" (hey, you guys have two syllables now!) and we browsed pictures of Lake George with Gavin. He squealed at all the pictures of himself as a chubby baby, said we should go there and never come back, and commented, "Ooh, mom real real fat! Mom has a baby in hers." Hrm. At any rate, it was cool that he got the vibe off the place, I wonder if he remembers it at all.

The garden party was held in Ron's back yard, a suburban oasis at the base of the river, with a waterfall and swimming hole surrounded by forest. In the middle of Kaneohe. Weird. The cabana was perched on a cliff, with a rope leading down to the water. We dragged chairs in front of the drop-off to block it and took up posts on the other side with Gavin. The food was lovely, and Gavin and I rolled in the yard for a while before the conversation turned drunkenly to right-wing politics and we made a graceful exit.

ugh

6:00am. Threw workout clothes in car, hopped in. Turned key. Flashy yellow engine light. Opened hood (now expert at opening hood, no longer fumbling idiot), discovered that I forgot to screw the cap back on the yellow bubble thing that holds the coolant. Poured dregs of pre-mixed antifreeze in bubble, not even making it up to the minimum line. Confessed mistake to Mike, who directed me to drive straight to the convenience store and buy more coolant before going to work, being sure not to overfill it as it will be hot and bubbly or something. Drove to nearest gas station, which had no coolant. Drove to 7-11, sulked over lack of pre-mixed coolant, stood in line with gallon of anti-freeze and a Diet Coke, getting nods from men who thought I was a girl who could handle car things. Had them snowed. Went back to car, partly filled empty coolant jug with water, poured in coolant with skill of trained chemist. Shake shake shake, into little yellow bubble thing, presto! Screwed top back on. Am car-savvy woman of the world. I hate cars.

Almost didn't have time for morning workout. Hopped on cross-ramp beside embarrassed-looking man (why are cross-ramps considered chick machines and treadmills not? Both move legs without getting anywhere), then covered machines quickly, pleased to be able to hike the bench press up another 10 pounds. Not yet pressing body weight, but close. Watched the other working women put on makeup while I pulled on my jeans and tank top, decided to go to work au-natural, since nobody would see me clearly anyway, for reasons to follow.

Drove to dark, powerless school. Electricians at work digging up cables, searching for fried mongoose to blame for crisis-level power blowout. Teachers entered dark library all day, asking, "What do you have in the way of pirate books?" "Where are all the Magic Schoolbus books?" and other questions while I pretended to type queries into my dead computer. Rummaged through shelves by memory and wrote down barcodes on xerox paper with nubby pencil, very high-tech and resourceful back-up circulation method. Ate a lot of fruit. Doodled a bit.

Friday night! No work on Monday! Am preparing to set table for dinner and go see Cars movie with anxious toddler. Feel like baking, but must not. Have gained a pound so far this week, but have shrunk. Hoping this means muscles.

Friday!!

soap curry and yoga

Yesterday I suffered self-loathing over bad scale reading. Decided to drown sorrows in tea at Volcano Joes, and adorable idiot waitron gave me 2 cups by mistake. "You want the second one anyway, since I already put the tea bag in?" he grinned, eliciting a stupid flutter of eyelashes from me as I scooped them up and trotted back to my table. Complained to Mike about my body image while automatically dumping 6 packets of Splenda into the first cup of tea. Would have put in more had they been on the table. Slapped forehead, drank it anyway, pausing to pour the second cup in to dilute the sweetness halfway through. Mike mopped up the puddles and patted me. 

This morning felt embarrassed and vindicated as 2 pounds dropped off. Probably temporary fluctuation from all that darn salt on my crab poke Sunday night, bah. Spent morning at Emporium of Evil (Walmart), shopping for luggage and underpants. Found snappy red luggage set (Gavin wheeled the little suitcase up and down the aisles eagerly, "My suitcase for Lake George! I put aaaall my choos choos in here") and then noted alarming absence of  my favorite kind of underpants. What has the world come to? Sulked out of underpants section and into toys, where Gavin got very excited about Cars movie merchandise. He eyeballed all the giant remote-controlled toys before picking up a small matchbox-sized model of the main character (hey, he's not greedy). Besides the "never say no if he asks for produce" rule, there is also a "never say no if he asks for books" rule, and so he made it out with two Cars books as well. I am a sucker. 

Made cookies with butterscotch chips, then destroyed dinner. Thai curry tasted like Palmolive. Threw rice in pot with ground turkey and peanut butter sauce instead, leaving soapy curry on stove to think about what it had done wrong. Notice that it has still not thrown itself away. Pulled on my yoga pants and went to the gym. Twenty seconds into my drive, the engine light flashed on and I was under the hood on the side of the road tipping anti-freeze into the little yellow bubble thing. Got back in car and chewed on fingernails - wondered suddenly if the anti-freeze residue on my fingers would crystalize my kidneys and kill me. How long would that take? My mouth tingled. Maybe my tongue was crystalizing, signaling the disintegration of my cellular structure and sudden death. Arrived at gym alive. The substitute instructor was a small Barbie-shaped woman who laughed at her own jokes. She threw aside the microphone and chose to yell out the poses instead, leaving us all straining in place while chatting leisurely about proper positioning and yoga theology. Still, I felt a bit more optimistic as I left, having visions of magical morning yoga on the terrace of Lake George. Plus, the rolled mat would make a great pillow on the plane after I am flatly sedated by mini bottles of Bacardi. I hate flying. 

Contemplating chucking curry over the fence before pulling off my yoga pants and going to bed.

on an island in the sun...

We went out to the state fair after a morning of birthday shopping for my mom. Gavin enjoyed himself even though he is very serious, and Chris went into a manic frenzy. We all had a blast. I did not eat a fried twinky. Fleeced but happy, we headed home as the sun went down and the family (minus mother and Ron, who are on date) is watching cartoons with Subway sandwiches. Lovely. And I have no work tomorrow! Hellooo beach.