wax mercat

October 29, 2014tempestpilot

My mother has been doing bronze casting at the University again, and gave me a ball of wax to attach to her next investment – a sculpture of a small swimming mermaid.

So I made her a cat companion. Needs work, but I’m happy with it as a start.

shaking fist at fall

October 21, 2014tempestpilot

The hurricane rolled past, dragging with it all the clouds and wind. It is hot. And bright. And birds are twittering. This is not pumpkin spice weather.

So I ripped out my knitting. I will go to the yarn store, and let the yarns speak to me! said my first thoughts. I will go and be sad because all the best stuff is wool, said my second thoughts. I will go and the kids will ruin it and embarrass me, said my third thoughts. My third thoughts are assholes, though, so I went anyway. The youngest boy went with me. He is usually a good shopper, able to browse stores politely and amuse himself for a few minutes without complaining, but oh no, mom is looking at things. He opened drawers and pulled yarn off the shelves and coughed on everything and talked loudly about his allergies and laid prone on the floor and hung on the front door like a limpet while old ladies tried to get inside. I left empty-handed and red-faced, dragging him along behind me.
Fine. Am listless and unproductive and uninspired, listening to Janet Evanovich audio books like someone eating candy bars in the toilet. Bukowski and Vonnegut are languishing on my desk, and I just… ugh. FALL.

Divergent

October 17, 2014tempestpilot

So I read Divergent, because I’m a librarian and also because I enjoy reading about teenagers killing each other. Veronica Roth commits the ‘not a beautiful woman’ literary crime, wherein the character is described as not pretty because of unappealing features such as too-big eyes or too-full lips or too-luscious boobs. Sorry, authors. If you tell me the character is not pretty, I am going to exaggerate those features until they are actually not pretty, because you told me to. Let her be pretty or let her be homely, it’s ok either way. Really.

look at this thing

October 15, 2014tempestpilot

The folks over at NOAA must be morosely anticipating the floods of Frozen princesses on Halloween, too. “Let’s name the storm ‘Anna’! Then it will literally be a flood! And a depression!” “That is not funny, I’ve already talked Fred into going as Elsa*. You can’t name a storm after my costume, I’ve spent hours gluing on pom poms.” “Fine.” So they crossed out an “N”.

Tropical Depression Ana makes its way toward us this weekend, winding itself up into a hurricane, and has already cancelled my field trip to the Children’s Services meeting – which was going to have FREE COOKIES. Thanks a bunch, NOAA nature.

image updated Saturday at 5pm

* and thank you, Internet:

who would want to be such an asshole

October 14, 2014tempestpilot

Today’s post written by Charles Bukowski

I drive home for an hour listening to the narrator of an audio book

mispronouncing the same word

over

and over.

a kid on a motorcycle speeds by me with no helmet, no jacket

and I think, what an idiot,

just in time to see him rolling down the highway

with his arms thrown up around his head

bike skidding away ahead of him

and brakes flashing on

like lighters at a concert

while people stop to watch.

a man with military hair jumps out of his truck and strides to the scene

while the kid stands up and staggers with his hands raised

no blood yet

all limbs still attached.

traffic moves on, everybody thinking

about how they would have helped

and maybe

about how they were disappointed

when he got up.

nailing it – Halloween edition

October 9, 2014tempestpilot

I am finally learning about Halloween preparation, after 11 years on the circuit.

1) Fancy hand-sewn costumes lead to tears and rage, unless I have the time to do it right. Which I don’t.

2) My kids will pick the first thing that comes to mind, usually ninjas – even when nobody even likes ninjas – so there is no point in even asking them.

3) After the initial cries of “ninjas!” my kids will base their costume choices on weaponry and toys (“Sonic screwdriver!” “That is not a costume”), which I just end up carrying for the entire trick-or-treat expedition, so there is no point in even asking them.

4) Nothing will go on sale, it will just sell out. Buy the first thing that looks ok and run for it. (Although I was forbidden from buying the baby a dog’s taco costume at the pet store, even though it totally fit her, on the grounds that a) it was a dog costume and b) it was a taco. Which were the two best reasons for getting it.)

This year, the mall opened a seasonal Halloween store, and kids ran for the plastic devil pitchforks while I dug through the scary bin of discontinued costumes that have failed to sell for 15 years. Among these was a dusty Teletubbie costume, and Zenny flipped her wig with excitement. Teletubbies and Simon’s Cat are the only things she gets to watch at home – if we’re not counting family viewings of Doctor Who and Downton Abbey. I didn’t see a toddler Dowager Countess of Grantham costume in the bin, so I bought her the yellow felt Lala suit and felt like a big damn hero.

It’s like this, only… more deflated:

For the small boy, I ordered a viking costume. DONE. The large boy, however, has decided (after trying to get a ninja costume and sonic screwdriver out of me) that he needs to be Rob Anybody of the Nac Mac Feegle, and has been spending a disproportionate amount of time figuring out how to get items for his spog – this being a leather bag like a sporran, containing bits of yarn, teeth, and sheep liniment. WHICH NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO SEE. BECAUSE IT IS IN A BAG.

Oh, waily, waily.

I have done what I can to support his endeavors with the acquisition of a red wig, blue paint, and an old kilt. It will be quite the school costume parade this year, if I can’t get a shirt on him.

Wasn’t kidding

October 6, 2014tempestpilot

Things afoot

October 2, 2014tempestpilot

These being socks, in particular. Which I will here model in an awkward manner from my desk before work.

It is really hard to take pictures of socks without adopting the pigeon-toe pose. It’s mostly an attempt to show both sides at once, and it looks pretty twee.

These things are finally, FINALLY done, after three false starts and one incident of cat barf.

Pigeon-toes are often followed by hot-dog-legs, because the knitter feels defensive about their ankles.

If the socks are very slightly too large, my mother is not saying anything, because she does not want me to cry and then stuff the socks over her head. And anyway, they are pretty. Free pattern for Deflect socks via knitty.

Close-up with neutral background. Did not have driftwood at hand, made do with office chair.

I have also been adding entries to the Chronicles of Muu, my small literary endeavor based on my mother’s stories. I am burying this at the bottom here because I feel weird about it. Thankfully, tumblr doesn’t do stats, so I can’t tell if anyone is reading it or not.

So there! Go make socks and read about dead things. It is seasonal!