Haven’t quit yet

It has been summer break for about 2 days, and the kids are so happy. Gavin is applying for jobs and seeing friends, Leif has been working on getting his license and hanging out with his girlfriend at her house on the beach, Zenny started robotics and is excited about going to camp. 

I am not having as good of a summer, and it has only just started. I am burned out, fed up, and need to find another career. My mother suggested buying a house on the side of the active volcano, and I was like LET'S GO, even though lava tops my list of things in nature that I do not want to get killed by, right up there with tornadoes, sharks, amoebas, and cliffs. Even if the mountain stops shooting lava, the unreported crime on the Big Island is wild, with dead bodies washing up all over the place and people getting robbed by dudes in trucks with shotguns and pit bulls who show up at night to steal your generator and tools. "Adventure!" I said. I need to deal with this existential crisis before I end up as an archaeological curiosity for future bone diggers.

Really happy for the kids, though, and I'm not going to do anything that would take Leif away from his last year in high school and his first love. Yesterday they swam at sunset with the sea turtles and then helped her mom make dinner. How goddamn magical is that? He’s making the best kind of young summer memories. 

I am still working on my grant paintings. Staying home tomorrow to start a local landscape in the style of the Scottish ones — NOT to work on the floral painting I started even though I have a deadline. I am getting better at landscapes, so I know THIS one will come out great. Super great.