stupid vital organs

In the middle of the night, a tea set and a metal food scale leaped off the fridge and smashed all over the floor, causing us to jump straight up out of bed and run into the kitchen. My heart DID NOT LIKE THIS. It took 4 tries to get back into bed and lay down, because I kept having to kneel and put my forehead on the floor to stop from fainting. It's a barfy, cold, muffle-eared feeling that I hate a lot. "If I wake up dead I'm going to be so pissed. Killed by a teacup." And whichever cat was exploring the top of the fridge at 12:30am.

 

probably this guy 

Ever since my doctor discovered my heart murmur a year ago- with the comprehensive advice to go to the ER if I start dying- I've been taking my heart-healthy vitamins and doing sad cardio workouts to defend against dropping dead when something jolts me awake in the middle of the night, and so far I WIN. Nice try, Droopy.

Still got sent to the hospital for an EKG and an echocardiogram, though.

It’s uncomfortable admitting to having an “underlying health issue”, because then if you die people act like you’re okay with being dead. Like if your brakes squeak, then nobody should feel bad when someone runs you off the road and your brakes fail and you crash into a tree and your car explodes. Ah, but she had those underlying brake issues, it was probably to be expected. Well, I do not expect to drop dead of a minor heart murmur, and I am not okay with it. I’m going to live to be 100 years old, powered by gristle and spite.

- - -

And because I don’t want that to be the last thing I talk about, here I am posing for reference pictures for an illustration I completely ruined.

Dressing up is fun but also depressing, because fancy clothes look so much better than work clothes, and you can't just walk around everywhere with steel undergarments and stage lighting. Unfair.