Wherein I celebrate with accidental murder

The teenager landed his first job interview on the same day the man got a promotion. This called for spicy food and fresh duds. We met for Thai take-away after work, sitting near a courtyard to wait for spring rolls. A small dove was sunning itself in the evening light. It didn't move when someone walked by. It didn't move when a kid almost stepped on it. I leaned forward. The man put his hand on my arm and said, "No - nope - nuh uh - we are eating dinner -" but it was too late, Gavin ran over and picked up the bird and handed it to me. "Only nice people notice birds," he said. "That kid didn't even see it until it was under his foot. He needs to work on his niceness." Husbandface exhaled slowly, trying not to attract attention to his niceness quotient. The little bird didn't look great, so I put it in the paper bag I had been carrying books in and went to wash my hands. "I'll take the bird home after dinner and give it some formula. You two can shop for an interview outfit." They smiled at each other with a lot of teeth. "No clown pants and taco cats," I said. "We can handle it," they assured me. Oh, no.

Baby doves are different than other baby birds. Instead of poking food into them with a toothpick or a small syringe, you have to make a fake bird throat for them to shove their faces into and glug. You do this by cutting the end off a fat medicine syringe, snipping the finger off a rubber glove, tying it tightly over the syringe, and poking a little hole in the end for the bird to stick its beak into.

like so (not my picture)

I mixed up some baby bird food and rigged up the feeder. The little bird seemed very eager to eat- but then whatever defect caused it to be in this situation in the first place made itself evident. And it choked. To death. I tried to do bird Heimlich and CPR, but I don't know how to do bird Heimlich or CPR, so I just kind of shook it upside down a little bit. When that didn't work, I covered it with a napkin and hid from it. This was not a heroic rescue. This was birdslaughter. I called my mother for absolution. You can't save them all. Beak deformity can cause choking, there's nothing to be done for it, that's probably why it was rejected. You tried and that's the best we can do. I had a tiny one-person funeral, got a cup of tea, and sat down to draw.

I was still feeling kind of shitty about this botched rescue when the guys came home with their loot.

"Ta daa, black shoes."
"Oh, good."
"Black pants."
"Very nice."
"Aaaaand - DUCKIES."
"Oh, dear."

Well. The boy will be himself, and that is the very best thing he can be.

What you see is what you get, Fast Food Purveyors

Love this kid.

(The other kids were sleeping over at grandma's. We didn't forget them somewhere or anything.)