The studio! Basement renovation action

Oh, Larry's Offspring, I hate you. Why were there rubber tubes stapled to the drywall covering the windows? What kind of shitty grow-house operation were you running? How many people were you hiding down here, to have a single faucet and a mailbox affixed to the basement door? Was this a meth lab?

Gross. But step by step, we are peeling the garbage off and getting the house back to its original working order. Minus the fish farm.

Step 1: emptied all the beer brewing equipment, weights, discarded furniture, and kid junk out of the basement.

Step 2: discovered that the crumbling paint on the walls is some kind of... chalk? That just dissolves with water? What the crap, Larry's Offspring?

Step 3: cleaned and stained the floor. Dumped candy-coating sealer on it. It did not become shiny. The stain did not stain. It just sucked it all up and burped. How many people did you murder down here and get away with it because of these blood-absorbing floors, Larry's Offspring?

Step 4: upgraded the burning-hot halogens to LED track lighting, then painted. We went with a medium grey-blue, and it came out looking white because the room is a dungeon. I did not want it to look white, I wanted a neutral background for still-life painting and portraiture. Whatever, at least it isn't blotchy and gross. I can use drapery like a proper painter.

Step 5: VICTORY OVER THE FLOOR. Mostly. It could be a thicker, more even coat, but we at least read the label and got the right candy-coating this time.

Step 6: smash the husband flat with a 300 lb. tool bench.

The moment I saw this thing in Costco, I knew it was The One. And as fortune was favoring me, I had just earned an illustration check to spend on furniture. It was 5 minutes to closing and I skidded outside to grab a freight cart, ducked under the gate as they began to pull it down, and rolled up to the hardware aisle.

And I couldn't get the box off the display, because it weighed 300 lbs. Two passersby were embarrassed by my useless struggling and helped me drop it down onto the cart. At checkout, the cashier glanced at me and then at the box. "What a nice credenza," she said - because I guess I don't look like the kind of person who would know I was buying a tool bench. What I looked like was a person who could in no way lift a 300 lb box, so she lifted a hand and an enormous young man sprang up at my elbow. He turned out to be one of our Rainbows football players, and he just picked up the box and put it on my truck without even breaking his conversation with a co-worker.

Getting it off the truck was another matter, and none of his lunchtime weight lifting really prepared the man for having a 300 lb weight dropped on his foot. He should have been wearing shoes, probably.

Step umpty-whatever: DONE. Mostly. I still have to re-tile the hideous shelves that used to be built-in fish tanks before we took the broken glass out, and the platform alcove needs a floating wood floor laid down, and maybe darker paint at some point - but the room is functional!

We are going to have family still-life weekends. I am so flipping happy.

Leif pretending to paint a beer growler

MINE MINEY MINE
Protip: before buying a 7-foot easel, check to see if your ceilings are higher than 6'5". No standing up and painting; sitting only, sorry, butt.
 

Already the man has tried to edge beer brewing supplies into the studio, and I am grackling like a broody hen to keep him out. Give me a honeymoon period at least, mister.