wall-eyed chicken and a FO

I refused to by another ball of this yarn, so I bound off the Malgven and called it done. 

DONE.

It's a lap blanket/shawl/cat entrancer. Which has taken most of a year to plod through.

Inaction shot.

The same day, I finished the book I was reading. And neither of these things were part of a series, which means the pleasure of finishing them dropped immediately into despondency, like a balloon thbbting into a flaccid wrinkled mess.

So maybe I was a little depressed when I found a derpy Japanese chicken tea set and brought it home furtively, like someone smuggling actual chickens into the house. Mike picked up the tea pot and stared at it. "It's... a chicken. Oh - oh my. It's a set. Of course it's a set." 

I took out my phone and showed him what was parked next to us at the store. "See? At least I didn't flock the car."

I'm holding out for a cartoon-car paint job, anyway.

How to know if a book is appropriate for your child

Every other day or so, a parent drags their child up to me and makes them show me the book they are holding, wanting to know if that book is really appropriate for their child. So here are my thoughts on that, as a children's librarian.

If your child reads the whole book, it is appropriate for your child. 

It's really that simple. I promise. I am not saying all books are appropriate for all people at all points in their life - I am saying the reader sorts this out for themselves. A kid with low reading comprehension will not be interested in a book that is difficult to get through. A child with no knowledge of history or politics will not be interested in a book with a heavy social message. Lots of kids grab the Hunger Games because they want to be a part of the teenage craze, but after a couple of pages they put it down and go back to Katie the Kitten Fairy. Lots of kids read below their reading level because it's comfortable; don't worry if they're not reading "hard" enough books, just read aloud at bedtime and listen to audio books, and they'll pick it up on their own when they're ready. Once they've gotten engrossed in a story, you might find that the book itself might not be appropriate to read at school or to read aloud to their baby sister or to read instead of doing homework, but for their own brains in their own time - they'll be fine. They can handle it.

What about sex and violence? Your child is going to learn about sex and violence. Books are the safest way to navigate those issues. Your child is not going to be harmed by reading a book. I want to repeat that: your child is not going to be harmed by reading a book. 

Information is exactly what you want to give them. If they are not ready for something that comes up in one of their books, they will lose interest in that book and toss it aside and find something easier/fluffier/sillier/fartier. All on their own. Really.

If your child is curious about racism or sexuality or abuse or guns or drugs or cannibalism, get them to a book. If your child seems to be bothered by something they have read, go ahead and read the book and start a conversation.

I obviously wouldn't recommend Fifty Shades of Grey to an 11 year old, but if I had gotten hold of that book at that age I can guarantee I would have read it, and laughed, and been squicked out, and been fine. If I caught my kid reading Fifty Shades of Grey, we would be having a nice chat about shitty writing and bad relationships. I used to peruse the steamy scenes in battered romance novels lying around offices, and decided by the age of 12 never to date a man who called any part of me a "love mound" with a straight face. I was not harmed. Recently, I tossed a graphic novel with nice art to my 12 year-old son, and then read it later to discover that it was full of teen drug use, pregnancy, suicide, and miscarriage. He was already reading his next Warriors book, unperturbed. We talked about the story and the art, I answered a few questions, and it was a good conversation. Kids bring their personalities and personal beliefs and family backgrounds with them when they read a book, and that's where parents get to weigh in and lend some guidance.

So, is the book appropriate? Yes, I would argue so. Is it good quality? Maybe not - discuss that with them. Is it sexist and containing violent imagery? Comics in particular can be pretty horrible to women - discuss that with them. Is it going to inspire your child to attempt murder? Mental illness, personality disorders, developmental issues, or abuse may cause your child to act out things that inspire them, but it is not the fault of the book/art/music/whathaveyou itself.

Read books. Discuss books. Let your kid follow their interests. It'll be ok - and if it's not ok, it's not because of the books. Good luck.

KCBW DAY 7: Your time, your place

Where and how do you take time out to knit and/or crochet? Whether social or solitary, tell readers about your crafting time and space.

I am losing momentum with this thing. Early morning coffee pictures of my couch - which is where I knit, if I'm not at work having lunch on a stool in the break room.

I am one of those people who doesn't look like they're smiling unless they're laughing maniacally.

My knitting space is usually crowded with legs and cats. Which is good, since I knit to have something to keep my hands busy when I'm hanging out with the family. If they're not full of coffee, which they are at 6:30am.

I impulsively bought a pretty chair to knit in, but it just sits there being aesthetic because it isn't actually very comfortable.

And it's full of cats. Bad planning.

This song is on heavy rotation while I'm working. 

KCBW DAY 6: Polls apart (now with functioning poll)

Dress me, internet! Today we are supposed to conduct a poll. Probably a knitting-related one, which this one could be, if the hypothetical cardigans are hand-knit.

 Recently, I have been wanting to establish more of a uniform for myself, work-attire-wise. It helps people if you look like the thing they expect you to be - and I want that thing to be friendly, competent, and accessible. Younger people tend to ping off the reference desk nervously instead of asking for help, and older men look past me to see if someone with more authority is available. A uniform might help everyone feel more comfortable. Myself included. 5 of the same shirts, 5 of the same pants, DONE. I can always cheer it up with amusing jewelry. I'm putting "jeans" in the poll, because that is what everyone at work wears, but I might upgrade to black pants.

So here is what I wear right now (except with hair up):

I was smiling at the camera, but Zenny chose that moment to throw all her coloring books on the floor, and then we had to scramble to clean up and get shoes and keys and shove everyone out the door and POINT ILLUSTRATED - I don't have time to coordinate outfits.

So. Dark and neutral? Bright and chipper? What would make you comfortable approaching a librarian?

Click a button! It is anonymous!

Create your own user feedback survey Create your own user feedback survey

KCBW DAY 5: Something a bit different

This post written by special guest Ogden Nash.

On the discriminate use of animal terms in knitting

I find it dogged of the knitter

To frog a thing that doesn't fit her

And though she'll ribbit to the cuff

She'll not dog it if it's looking ruff

 

 Can you make me one of those?

A knitter rarely knits for money
She'll make socks only for her honey

So if you must ask, never wheedle
Or she'll stab you with a needle



 After hours

The librarian knits industriously
To avoid erupting incusstriously



It's all just knits and purls

Like driving a car through a hula hoop
One does not simply p7tbl

KCBW DAY 4: Bags of fun (oo-er)

Time to delve into that most treasured collection of tools, notions and oddments as you are asked to spill the contents of your knitting or crochet bag, caddy or other method of organisation and put your crafting unmentionables on display.

Oh, this is a bad idea, Blog Week. I am not a tidy bag-keeper. But I will defensively preface this entry by explaining that my mother's bag is worse - she doesn't knit, but she has people who know that I knit, so they foist balls of unwanted yarn on her and she stuffs them in a cloth bag that hangs on the back of the closet door. It stays there so I can have emergency supplies if I'm stuck at her house without my knitting, which is lovely - except that we have some extraordinary indoor wildlife in these parts, and they LOVE bags of yarn that lie undisturbed for months on end. So last weekend I went enthusiastically rummaging through the thing and got a handful of crunching cockroach eggs, a panicky roach in my hair, and a gecko egg jumped down my shirt and broke.

So my bag is pretty nice, really. It very barely even gets any mice in it.

My knitting bag is also my work bag. It contains the usual - wallet, phone, knitting, lunch, emergency toiletries. And whatever sifts to the bottom from any number of things that pass through. Every now and then, I empty it out and give it a good spanking. Now is as good a time as ever.

Let us see what is in this thing:

Looks ok so far.

 

Oh, dear.

clockwise from red blob:

1. knitting - waded up thing which I hope will resemble a blanket when it's spread out
2. stitch holder
3. crumbled knitting charts
4. pen case and tiny sketchbook
5. mass of gradient pens
6. thread & thimble
7. lipsticks - friendly pink and scary red, depending on who's at the desk
8. pads, because a) uterus, and b) library teen emergencies
9. deodorant - two kinds, because I tried to be all-natural and discovered it doesn't work but haven't thrown it out yet
10. book for toddler time
11. ugly keychain with candy stuck in it, which I have no memory of obtaining
12. some kind of pin my kid gave me
13. car keys
14. sesame treat which I won't eat because it somehow has 24 grams of fat in it
15. empty wrapper and 4 pennies
16. hair tie, hidden from hair-band-snapping husband
17. work keys
18. hardware store rewards card
19. note card colored by Leif
20. two wallets
21. orange


Better than the time I emptied my purse and found rocks in it.

KCBW DAY 3: Experimental photography

Instagram knitter-trooper is having a nice day off.

WEEEKEND LOL

Malabrigo, bitches. #malabriiiiigo #vaginabikemerino 

Who wound this skein even?? Look at this nonsense.  KNITPICKS. 

#knitpicks #KNITPIIIICKS #thanksobama #wine #droids 

OMG it's finally done. 

#blockingisforsuckas 

KCBW DAY 2: It's all about you

This post can be about your reality, your aspirations, past, present or future. Enjoy talking about you.

Oh, you sweet altruistic purpose-driven bloggers. My posts are always all about me.

So let's talk about things I find too personal to talk about. And then delete this later, because eew. I will do this in the form of what I imagine to be the top questions people may have. I will answer actual questions in the comments, if anyone has any.

1. Holy shit, you've been blogging for like 12 years and you have no readers, why do you even do this?

I started blogging in the very newborn beginning of intarweb blogs, before people had niches and etsy shops and pretty tutorials. I was in love with someone I had no business being in love with, who did not feel the same, and so I left my life open optimistically, like a book on a coffee table. And it didn't work, but I am still here, talking away for years and years and years. I'm throwing out words like a trail of bread crumbs. I guess it feels more like feeding birds now. I have removed my blog listing from google and closed comments from spammers and anonymous users, which pares down my readers to friends, family, knitters, and intrepid/accidental web acquaintances. I'd feel weird writing anything if I knew 500 people were weighing in on it. Which would probably improve my content, but OH WELL.

2.  Hey, didn't you get divorced? Did you re-marry the same person? What is happening?!

Yeah. We remarried two years ago. It is like this: shitty people can do good things, and still be really unpleasant individuals to be around most of the time. My husband is a good person who has done some really shitty things, and he's very nice to be with. It's been 18 years. You hang on to the people who are gripping your hands as you hurtle through the years, even if you do have stray bread crumbs flying from your skirts.


3. Who would you cast as yourself in the movie of your life?

Tim Minchin.

Maybe Steve Buscemi, when hobos pee in the library sink.

4. What's your favorite song?

Nope, TOO PERSONAL. I am failing at my own questions.


5. What's for dinner?

Oh, damn. *scheduling blog to publish in the morning*


Stay tuned for tomorrow: experimental photography day!

INTERRUPTION

I sewed another thing. It is the same as the other thing, but flowy and... better.

Not knitting

Not crochet either

I love this pattern. (Tie-back tunic from Linen, Wool, Cotton Kids)

Back to blog week now.

KCBW DAY 1: If you were yarn

"VANILLA."
"Come on, kid, there are 32 flavors here. Pistachio! Rocky road! Coconut! Pick something fun!"
"... FRENCH vanilla."

This went on until I was about 24. If pressed, I always insisted I was a purist, but that wasn't quite it.

In the summers of the early '80s, my mother and I beat around Bloomington on a bike with a plastic toddler seat. We went to outdoor concerts on grassy hills with youths tossing frisbees, ate hummus in the well house, ran from hot summer thunderstorms, and broke down along the countryside in her brother's battered old VW bug. 

 

The well house, portal into the faerie realm

When we visited my grandparents we made ice cream in a big wooden churn, and when we walked through B-town we stopped at the fountain to share a mini coffee Haagen Dazs.

The fountain, which probably animates at night when the square is empty

It was goddamn magical, and no frosty expanse of blue and pink ice cream tubs could compete with that kind of childhood expectation. I chose vanilla because it tasted like Bloomington. I still choose coffee Haagen Dazs if I'm shopping by myself.

In my most romantic imaginings of myself, I'm earthy and bohemian and rebellious - a free-spirited book lover with flowing hair and hippie skirts and natural foods. But in reality, I work and use an e-reader and dress in jeans and shop at Costco. I admire tattoos, but don't have any. We make home-brewed craft ale, and I still prefer light beer. My favorite restaurant is Thai, but my favorite food is hot bread. Basically, I've got the fancy little specks, but I'm still just vanilla. My philosophy is to live a simple, good life, and try not to be an asshole.

 

This is good, too.

But the question presented was: if you were yarn, which yarn would be? This seems like an unlikely turn of events in a person's life, but if someone were to hold me down and force me through a carding machine, I guess I might come out as cotton (if I didn't come out as ribbons of librarian meat). Soft enough to be good for more than dish rags, a bit grubby from being pawed by children's fingers, maybe slightly heavier than I'd prefer. I'd like to say I'm organic, but there's probably some acrylic in there. And as a librarian with three kids, I am definitely not something people spend a lot of money on. I think I'm knitpicks comfy worsted heather.

 

In beige, probably. 

At least I'm all-purpose, and not clown-barf boucle.

note/warning

Next week is Knit and Crochet Blog week, and I am doing that thing again. Stay tuned/avidly avoid next week for a new post about knitting EVERY DAY YAAAY.

I've been very slowly knitting the same thing for the past year, so I'm glad there are a lot of filler topics. But now that Outlander and Game of Thrones are back on, my couch productivity is skyrocketing! Also my drinking! If my liver fails, I'll have most of a blanket to comfort me.

(Heather - don't worry, I don't really drink enough to make my liver sad. Only enough to make my eyebrows happy.)

Sick

Home sick. Trying to lay down. Enjoying empty house and bottomless tea cup, but slightly disconcerted by distant machine gun fire. Fortunately, it is mostly drowned out by the military helicopters.