House progress

After a month of rain, the sun came out long enough for us to run outside and slap some paint on the house. Didn’t even finish one side, let alone touch the trim or put in new screens, but at least the new wood won’t rot.

Took a break from horses to paint my kid.

And then back to horses.

I’ve just about filled up both my sketchbooks with paintings of these things, so I bought a new moleskine sketchbook for 2023, and now I’m afraid to touch it. Every new sketchbook has the potential to be perfect. The one you fill up with lovely little studies that you’d be proud for your great-grandchildren to discover in an attic someday. And then you fill it with mangled sketches and torn-out pages and sloppy paint and want to bury it in the yard. The first painting in my new sketchbook has to not suck. This is going to be a challenge, since I’ve been painting Tik Toks lately when nobody is looking, and right now my photo album is full of screen shots of the Cock Whisperer. 

Sorry, great grandkids.

Wow more horses

This guy looks like a person who was turned into a horse 5 min before posing for his portrait. Blue-eyed horses are scary.

Tape on, tape off

Last week I painted a very long horse, because I thought it was funny, but it really just looks like I don’t know how to draw a horse. I don’t care, it made my kids laugh, anyway.

And then they started singing, “Let me do it for youuuu”

Lent is coming up again. This year I’m going pescatarian, in an effort to boost my fish intake and cut back on animal fats while I work through this weight program (increased dumbbells this week, so I’m making some kind of progress!). Zenny is going with “breaking a bad habit I don’t want to tell you about”, which I assume is something like licking Nutella out of the jar when we’re not looking, and not something like embezzlement or catfishing. Leif is going with “showering more”, because he’s 14. Attainable goals.

But before Lent is Fat Tuesday (and Fat Monday, because why not), so I made a king cake. I didn’t have a plastic baby to jam into it, so I rolled a nice fat dried cherry into the dough before it baked. (The recommended alternative to the baby was a pinto bean, but I’m giving up emergency dentist appointments for Lent, too.)

And then I burned it. I do not know how this happened, it was only in for 25 minutes. It was the opposite of a holiday miracle.

Oh well.

edit: it was perfect in the middle, actually, the crust was just too dark. Bread is very forgiving.

Sunset cruise

The boat ride was everything you could ask for from an aging cruise ship next to an abandoned Hooters. 

 

Aloha Tower used to be a trendy shopping destination full of VR rides, shops, restaurants, tropical bars, and the maritime museum. Now it's rented by a private university and a Scientology church.When we arrived 20 minutes early, we were surprised to see one bar was still open, with a large chalkboard sign pointed at the cruise ship waiting area: 4 FOR 20 ANY BEER. Challenge accepted. We sat next to a giant fiberglass shark and drank Guinness and Maui Brewing Co, watching the pre-boarding hula from outdoor bar stools.

 

The buffet was mostly macaroni salad and dry teri chicken. The drinks were mostly pineapple juice, with just the barest whiff of alcohol. Probably they did not need 200 tourists getting drunk and concussing themselves or falling overboard every time the ship rocked. Someone face-planted on the way to the dessert table, anyway.

I saw a whale's nose-holes as it surfaced nearby, and two dolphin dorsal fins. Everyone applauded. 

At sunset we went to the top deck to watch the city lights come on. It was really pretty. I was surprised more people weren't up there; most of the tourists opted to stay close to the bar, insinuating teaspoonfuls of alcohol out of $10 frozen drinks.

When it was dark, the floor show started. The servers changed outfits and performed rapid-fire one-minute hula routines, sprinted into the hallway, tore into a new costume, and sprinted back for their next set. Coconut bras in one set became clapping instruments in the next set, zippers were half undone, it was choreographed chaos. There were only two men, so they had to run between 3 decks to do their bits.

RUN, YOU CAN DO IT

When all of them were close to collapsing, the ukulele player turned on YMCA so they could stop and catch their breath for a bit. You guys. People still jump up and do this thing with all the gusto they can muster. Why have we not developed another uncoordinated drunk-person sing-along anthem in the past 45 years? There have been attempts, but none have stuck like this one. It is a mystery of nature.

YMCfml

 

It was flawlessly tacky. The dancers did a good job with a tough gig. It's hard getting a job performing hula in any meaningful context, but it's so important to keep it alive and well represented, even if all you get is a 2-hour budget cruise.

 

Overall, would recommend, but not repeat. Except the part at the bar with the fiberglass shark, that was aces.

adventuring for wet blankets

Well, Mike was polite about my plans to make landscape paintings of a homeless encampment and then drink beer out of plastic cups at the pizzeria next to Walgreens, and then he booked a sunset cruise with a "Pacific rim cuisine" buffet and mai tais, instead. Fine.

Luckily, I just got a new dress, which I copied directly from my friend after she posted a bathroom selfie wearing the same thing and I DM'd her for the link.

Link here 

Which brings me to FITNESS CULT.

To recap: partly to support/annoy my husband by encroaching on his hobbies, I started working out with Centr last summer. Spent 4 months getting fit, had a medical emergency, found out I was developing cancer, had to start medication to stop my uterus from exploding, started gaining weight because of the medication, had surgery for the cancer, and haven't been allowed to lift anything for 2 months while in recovery.

This week I finished a gentle 6-week program for weenies, which at least halted the weight gain, and now it is BACK ON. Last night I started Day 1 of a higher-intensity 6-week weight program. We will see if my organs try to eject themselves again.

Horse Weekly

I’m still not tired of painting these things. Hooves are still inexplicably difficult. They’re just wedges. I don’t understand. But I buried them in grass because I got mad at them — I’ll do some hoof homework later. 

Got another book deal this week. Editor cut royalties by 3 percent, but I’ll do it anyway, why not.

My very exciting plans for anniversary celebration next weekend: spend a couple hours plein air painting at the murder lake, and then try out the new tap house/pizza restaurant next to Walgreens.

(We have a lot of unfortunate people pulled out of Lake Wilson. It should be safe during the day, though.)

Getting wild over here.