Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Mandarin orange

The skeleton story in the previous post went over well with my bloodthirsty 1st graders. Kids are ghouls. I love telling them stories when their parents aren't around to make cringing faces at me. 

Stubbornly carving out painting time. 3 hours, interrupted by banana bread, batches of cookies, kitten milk bottles, and lego mediation. By the end I was flapping like a muppet when they veered too near with “can I have -” on their lips.


 It could have used another 3 hours and some background, but OH WELL. 


I put the last dab on, called it done, and took Zenny to the thrift store, where I had to use our code word for "stalking pedophile, get back over here" only once, and managed to find a silk hippie skirt for $5 - which the kitten immediately took a flying leap at, got stuck in, and tore.

look at this monster

And everyone will be very excited to know that I procured a very handsome ginger for my next painting. Everyone except the produce guy at Tamuras, who aggressively rearranges all the ginger after I paw through them every week. I don't even hold them up like antlers anymore, geez.

 

I'll be hiding in the basement studio with my ginger if anyone needs me, thanks.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

The plane, the cake, and the skeleton

Kind of a shit month. Short-staffed at work because of a serious accident, the baby mynah died, and a plane crash near the library killed at least 6 of our patrons. This morning I failed to rescue a fledgling before the cat got it, and only managed to get its body away to bury while its parents screamed. Feeling very bad about it.

But this week there was also a birthday, and a homemade cake with layers of chocolate cream, rose & raspberry, Italian buttercream, and an inferno of candles. I tried to go vertical with the candles using a cake candelabra, but the cheap candles with went up like tallow, caught the candelabra on fire, and shot flame a foot in the air. A birthday cake to challenge the recipient's 100% survival rate. 

Leif is the designated firestarter in our household 

Suspecting this candelabra was not made with real silver

Probably shouldn't have put the kitten in the bbq collage. Did not bbq kitten.

my lovely hams
A story

Every summer the parks department brings big groups of day-camp kids up to the library, and I like to sit them in a circle and tell them scary stories. Their favorites are the true stories, and they've heard most of mine a dozen times by now, so while we were sitting around drinking birthday Guinness, my mother added this one to the rotation.

- - -

As a little girl on Guam, my mother spent a lot of time chasing around after her older brother and his friends, and they spent a lot of time trying to ditch her. Big kids have big kid things to do, like riding bikes and throwing rocks and jumping off of things, and little kids just get in the way. One afternoon, she followed the boys to an abandoned bomb shelter, where they had managed to break open the heavy door and sneak inside. She followed them in, and the kids stood in the light of the entrance, looking into the darkness. The bomb shelter was long, with a tiny square of light at the far end where the exit had been. Someone in years past had brought down a pillow, and there were chunks of foam stuffing on the dirt floor. The thing to do, of course, was to dare each other to race through the darkness to that small square of light at the far end. The boys took off running, and my mother ran along behind. In the darkness, she passed a shape on the ground and felt that there were black holes like eyes watching her as she ran by. At the end, the boys waited until she caught up, and then ran back the other way. She chased them, then slowed down in the middle and looked at the dark shape with the holes like eyes. Her eyes were adjusting to the darkness and the shapes were indistinct grey in the black tunnel. As she stepped closer to look, something sharp and hard broke under her foot, exactly like a bone. The holes like eyes resolved themselves into the dark sockets of a skull. She ran, caught the boys at the entrance of the tunnel as they were preparing themselves to race back again. "Don't go back there! There's a skeleton!" Nobody believes a little sister, but the promise of a skeleton is just too good, so the boys yelled, "All right! A skeleton!" and ran straight back into the darkness to check it out. There was a long quiet moment, and then they came screaming back, out of the shelter, onto their bikes, and left the little girl running after them all the way home. She came skidding into the kitchen just in time to hear her brother's friend break the most basic and unspoken rule of childhood; he told the grownups. That idiot boy opened up his mouth and yelled, "There's a SKELETON IN THE BOMB SHELTER!" My mother was shocked by this betrayal.

Their father did exactly what a grownup could be expected to do. He told the kids off, banned them from playing in abandoned tunnels, and then marched straight over to the bomb shelter to see it for himself. The kids waited, feeling nervous and foolish.

But my mother had been right. The holes like eyes had been watching, the thing that felt like bone had been a bone, and there was a skeleton in the bomb shelter.

"A dog," her dad said. "Probably."

Probably.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Just a peach

So glad to see peaches back in the stores. Gave myself 2 hours in the basement to paint this one.


To paint a proper still life, you should have a minimum of three textures, even if there is only one main object; the object itself, the surface it’s sitting on, and a backdrop. Or a flower, the vase it’s in, and the wood it’s sitting on. So I should have put this peach on a plate or something to give a third texture, but sometimes you just need to plonk down a fruit and paint it.




Tuesday, June 11, 2019

the forge is lit, tape is peeled (video)

What the boy wants to do, of course, is bladesmithing, but he will have to start by learning to hammer out shelf brackets and cupboard hardware because the nearest sword-making school is on the mainland

Tutorial for building this forge is here

And here it is on FIRE. And breathing, because I moved while taking the picture.


It turns out the crumbling fish pond/eyesore in the back yard is basically a big fire-proof workshop -who's a neglectful homeowner now? Not me, the person with a 1,100 degree fire in the back yard. 

Looking forward to filling up my frequent-user punchcard at the Emergency Room.


In which I finally learn to upload videos 

Our library student helper is leaving us for boot camp/college, so I made her pose for a painting. 

Logan, 8x10

I used oil paper taped to a piece of MDF. Here I am trying to peel the tape off the edges with one hand. This is the best part of the painting process, if done right. This one is not done right, but it was satisfying anyway.




And here is a kitten gif.



Thursday, June 06, 2019

be careful what you scream into the universe

My call of "SEND US YOUR BABIES, WHY NOT" was heard, and a rusted AC unit full of mynah birds was dropped at my mother's feet.


She's kept the baby alive for two days now, with heating pads and tiny syringe of baby bird formula, toted around in a little plastic box lined with napkins. The original nest she pulled from the old AC unit did not come home with her, because it had been cleverly insulated with a used condom. Imagine the proud parents building that nest, flying across the highway with a condom flapping behind them like a wind sock, causing double-takes from the morning commuters. The wonder and beauty of nature.

Meanwhile, the kitten has been named Mjolnir (MEOWL-nir). "Only the worthy can lift this kitten," Gavin says. "Watch this," he reaches out his arm and waits, and the kitten comes flying across the room to meet his hand. "Except, by naming him after Thor's hammer, he's probably going to get so heavy that nobody can pick him up at all.” Well, he’s figured out the bottle, so he’s on his way.



I managed to get a couple of small paintings done before the kitten took over my workspace, too.




It will be nice to sleep the night again, and someone peed on the modem and ruined it, but he's a nice little cat and I'm glad he's here.