"Bark, George" by Jules Pfeiffer is a winner, and plays to my melodious quacking skill set
So I haven't actually done any painting in my new painting studio yet, owing to the presence of several children clutched around my knees, whining about unfair sprinkler usage and hitting each other when they think I'm not looking. So over the weekend I just dragged them along behind me as I went on the prowl for painting supplies. We went to the big art warehouse, where I waved brushes around to see which one would choose me. The one that chose me was made of mongoose hair. This seems appropriate. What the big glorious art store did not have was clove oil. I am following the method of a particular artist I like, and he says I need clove oil to mix my umber with, so clove oil is what I was going to get, damn it. I looked all over for it, and finally discovered that clove oil is sold in health food stores for $14 an ounce to people who rub it on their teeth. Is paying a lot of money to rub oil on your teeth in order to avoid going to the dentist any stranger than paying a lot of money to mix oil with iron oxide in order to smear it around with mongoose hair on a stick? Yes, it is. Stop driving up the price of paint medium, you essential oil weirdos. Studio rule #1: don't eat the damn paint supplies. Because they are TOXIC.
Anyway, the night approaches that my mother will steal the kids away for a sleepover, and then I will unleash oily fury on the studio with my mongoose wand, clove oil or no clove oil.
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