This year for my latent-Catholic-schoolgirl self-discipline challenge, I have decided to go full zealot and try the old-fashioned, time-tested, traditional methods of personal betterment/torture.
Orthodox Lent is mostly about fasting and giving up decadent foods. So you barely have to do anything, you just have to not do things. And the thing you have to not do is eat. How easy is that? You can do that while not doing all the other things you were supposed to, and you don't even have to exercise, because you'll be too weak! Simplicity itself.
Today is Day 1, so there is still time to join in.
Here are the rules:
Monday-Saturday: ONE MEAL A DAY. You can drink tea/coffee and a piece of fruit in the morning and maybe a light beer/cup of broth in the evening so you don't give up or die. Your one meal should not have fatty meat or cheese/eggs or fried things. Think turkey sandwiches, salads, soups, and lean chicken/fish. Avoid whole milk or cream in your hot drinks. Easy on the mayo (why are you even putting mayo in your hot drinks?).
Friday: ONE MEAL AND NO MEAT. Have some beans and bread or a hearty noodle soup or something.
Sunday: THREE MEALS HOORAY. Relax and eat with your family, but still lay off fatty meats and desserts.
That's it, really. Then you get to buy smaller pants for Easter and pretend you aren't happy about it because you did it all for spiritual improvement. That is specifically part of the orthodox instructions - pretending not to be happy about the weight loss. There's probably an ancient secret fist-bump for people who are happy about it anyway, but I can't find that bit in the doctrine. They probably got their heads chopped off by starving peasants, and didn't get a chance to write it down.
Today I am having:
Your snacks should not add up to a regular meal, so I'm probably cutting it close with the snack bar. I'll add that to my main meal and say we're good for today.
6 weeks to go. JUMP ON IN.
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