1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before? I planted a proper garden, with roses and bushes and food things. And did not kill it. In fact, it has swallowed part of the house. My concerned neighbors think it is because I am an ignorant haole who doesn't know what the plants are or that the fruit is edible ("Hawaiians eat these, do you know what they are?" OH GEE THEY'RE THE FUCKING LILIKOIS I PLANTED MYSELF THANKS), but they are wrong. I am just a lazy haole who can't be arsed to pull them off my windows. Even if I hadn't grown up in Hawaii, I can guarantee I would have figured out there was food on those bushes, neighbors. I am a survivalist like that. (Don't worry, I was friendly and gave them lilikois. When people hesitantly appear at your fence to make awkward small talk about your fruit bushes, it is because they want to eat them.)
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Failed. I was going to publish a book and learn to oil paint, and all I did was draw portraits of produce and illustrate drunk dwarves and weregoats. I DID, however, succeed in not going to Maui, which was on my list of things not to do.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Two of my oldest and best had their second babies this year; one a bit on the underbaked side and one just squeaking in before the end of the year. It was a good year for blonde baby boys.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Both of our 20 year-old cats died this year. Xebo was cremated because he had to be put down suddenly while suffering and my mom couldn't handle it, but Hercules went peacefully in her arms and we buried him in a corner of our backyard.
5. What places did you visit? I made every effort not to travel this year, as I am still freaked the fuck out by Zenny's head injury and have been trying to thickly insulate our nest so none of my babies fall out of it again. I can't watch husbandface drive away with her to daycare, because I have the urge to chase the car like a leopard. I did take the kids to the ice rink, though, and we found two amazing D&D stores. Also I tried a new beach on the North Shore.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015? A shower. We have a very pretty claw-foot tub, which is great unless you want to bathe in less than 30 min and not swill around in a hydro dip of body scum after washing your hair.
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I have no memory for dates. I liked our first lychee harvest. I did not like getting a biopsy. My dentist is really unpleasant, too, in the way that is acceptable in doctors who actually do a good job. And I had to pick up my mother from a hospital recovery room overlooking a graveyard, which was awful in a funny way.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Kept Zenny out of the hospital! She graduated from her helmet and everything. Oh, and I guess we moved into the new house and did a lot of renovation.
9. What was your biggest failure? I set out to peacefully relocate the library mouse population, and only succeeded in instigating a mutinous rodent uprising. We had mice springing out of cupboards and tea boxes for a while there, and now that I've given up, everything has settled back to normal.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I flunked my physical. Also I had a root canal and got hit in the face by a cat.
11. What was the best thing you bought? A truuuuuck.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mike's. He finished floors and did carpentry and installed plumbing and continued to better himself. Or at least keep the bad stuff out of my life, which is fine, too.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Hateful religious/political assholes in the news and on my facebook feed.
14. Where did most of your money go? childcare. UNF.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What song will always remind you of 2015? I was driving along listening to Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' and Zenny said, "I don't yike this song. I don't yiiiiiike it." So I skipped ahead and an ad came on. MISTER CLEAN MISTER CLEAN. Zenny clapped and said, "Yaaay! I YOVE this song. MISTER CLEAAAN." Gah.
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? nope
c) richer or poorer? I... don't know. I have less money, but my income is a bit greater. If we could stop having root canals and childcare provider cost hikes and busted tires, that would be great.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Driving my truuuuuuuck.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? The war against dinner. Oh my god, this middle child of mine.
every. damn. day.
20. How did you spend Christmas last year? In a panic over how quickly it had arrived.
21. Did you fall in love in 2015? I fell in like, for sure. Well. It wasn't so much falling as slowly devolving into dick jokes.
22. What was your favorite TV program? OUTLANDER. Jessica Jones was pretty good, too. And Broadchurch. Sense 8 was great. Poldark was the favorite to make fun of. Downton Abbey and Doctor Who are just givens... I watch a lot of phone tv on my lunch breaks.
23. What did you do for your birthday in 2015? Actual birthday was on Thanksgiving, and I ate a lot, drank wine, hit my cousin with a pillow, and got an Instant Pot. It was a good one.
24. What was the best book you read? Career of Evil, by Robert Galbraith (who is J.K. Rowling, I always feel compelled to note defensively).
25. What did you want and get? INSTANT POT. Also that truck I might have mentioned.
26. What did you want and not get? A ceiling in the bathroom. I mean, it has most of one, but it is not pretty, and the ghoul in the attic can see right down into the bathtub.
26 b. I have added this one myself: What did you NOT want and get? My husband borrowed my precious truck and got hit by a drunk on the highway and busted its tail light. Nobody replaced it. THE BASTARDS.
27. What was your favorite film of this year? Yep, it was Star Wars.Otherwise, the best film I saw on our computer was Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel. It was a scifi film.
Oh, and I somehow saw Jurassic Thingy. Was Mad Max this year? That was fun, too.
28. Did you make some new friends this year? I've got a couple favorite library patrons, but they don't know it.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? cryosurgery. I was going to try to be funny with this one, but seriously - being told "oh, it's just pre-cancer, come back in a year when it's turned into proper cancer" was not my treatment of choice. In Canada they would have just zapped things to be on the preventative side. I know this because that is what they did to my mother when this exact same thing happened to her.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015? I've started wearing only black shirts with big scary necklaces to work. And oxford shoes. (Ok, and pants.) These are things that are abundant in good quality at the thrift store - which is my only shopping outlet until the daycare budget gets back under control - because in Hawaii we have a lot of rich old people and not a lot of hipsters to snatch up their discards. Just meeeeeee, making grabby hands over ugly Italian loafers.
31. What kept you sane? I have this nifty little coping mechanism now - I tap my collarbone to summon my brain back into the present. And it works, which is weird. For a second you are trying to figure out if you're actually hearing the echo of the taps inside your body or just feeling them through your bone, and that's long enough to let the thoughts pass.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Well, there was this bloody redhead.
33. What political issue stirred you the most? I unfriended a couple of people for being assholes about refugees, confederate flags, and supporting Trump. And accidentally re-friended one of them, because we are distant relations and both forgot. Tricksy internetses.
34. Who did you miss? Actually, this year I'm good. I mean, though, you know... if anyone misses me, I wouldn't discourage them from dropping a note in my inbox or something.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015. Don't leave a man alone in an empty house with an industrial floor sander.
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