Retraction

Apologies for posting a thing and deleting it, rssfeeders. I have taken kind of a lot of cold medicine.

Here are some things that happened this week while I've been sick:

Tried on a policeman's Kevlar vest. Without the policeman in it. I did not look as great as I imagined. Then Mike put it on and even the cop stepped back and said, "wow, that's perfect on you." Slap that man and his stupid chest-to-waist ratio.

Made a cake, stuck my fingers in the frosting, and then blamed the little holes on "dick elves". 

Listened to a lot of Knights of the Arcade podcasts, which I blame for the above.

Made a pair of toddler knickerbockers from my Japanese sewing book, to which zenny said,"NO" and Mike said, "They look like Mickey Mouse pants." I made her wear them anyway. 

The Internet is out, there are probably-non-coincidental electrical trucks with jackhammers across the street which the Internet guys claim no knowledge of, a service visit has been scheduled for 3 DAYS FROM NOW, and I am making it my personal mission to burn through our data with cat gifs, pandora, and YouTube videos. 

Kids are out of school, which means summer reading has started - which is my PRIMARY FUNCTION at the library - and I'm sick on the opening week. Of course.

My publisher wants me to illustrate another book! Maybe two. Which is fantastic, but has caused a mouse/cookie cascade of events; the computer is broken and we have no desk, so we will need to rent a truck to haul a desk, and if we have a rented truck we need to clear out the junk pile in the yard, but if we are clearing junk we need to finish the bathroom renovation, and to finish the bathroom we need to buy a shower kit for the clawfoot tub, and on and on and I really just want a used desk and a video card.

I received a book of doily patterns in the mail, which I forgot I ordered. And now I am knitting a doily. My 10 year old self is deeply disappointed. Whatever, 10 year old self, you spend your allowance on Piers Anthony books and wear side ponytails.

Rescued a bird that had smacked a window. Nursed it back to health and set it free. Did not actually put it in a padded envelope and mail it to Pittsburgh, as I claimed.

Back under my couch pillows now.