The condo association has been on the prowl for whoever has been leaving bulky items out on the curb before Bulky Item Pickup Day, which results in a $200 fine for management, and they have promised to hunt down the guilty party and bill them. This month, however, the scoundrels are going to go undetected, because they chucked a TREASURE CHEST into the garbage pickup, and I drove by it before the garbage men got there. “MIKE,” I said, slamming into the house after dropping off the kids at school, “TREASURE CHEST.” I took the baby away from him, plopped her in the stroller, and ran out the door. He hurried after us, as any sensible person who has been yelled at about treasure would. We got to the curb, pulled the pieces off of the garbage pile, and where delighted to discover that it was solid cedar with brass hardware. Someone had thrown the lid back and broken the hinges, which is easy enough to fix, and there were only a couple of maggots from the nearby garbage, so we knocked them out and ran away with the chest, hooting in excitement. “POWER OF THE SEEEECRET,” I hollered in a mystical manner, figuring that since everybody probably wants to find treasure, the manifestation principle applies here. Once again, my power of the secret moment comes with the reminder to BE MORE SPECIFIC. While there are worse things to find in a treasure chest than a handful of confused maggots (such as: the corpse they came from), they’re pretty low on the list of desirable booty. Still, it doesn’t seem to be haunted or cursed, so I count it as a win.
We have no room for new furniture, so now it’s cleaned up and sitting in the living room.
The cats tried to claim my treasure chest as a gargoyle perch.
The boys tried to claim my treasure chest as a toy box.
My mother tried to claim my treasure chest as beer brewing storage.
Somehow I did not anticipate this obvious problem: I NEED TO HIDE MY TREASURE CHEST.
May have been hasty in declaring the item to be non-cursed. In the meantime, am redoubling my manifestation efforts, with focus on the specific. Trying to direct that at house-hunting activities, and not lose my focus, because if a treasure chest has made its way to me, there is a chance other things might start showing up, as well.
Wishful thinking, people.
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