You stop blogging for a few days and everything gets wadded up around your armpits.
Gavin and I went to see a jousting tournament and came away smelling like porcupine pee. My brief appearance at the library tent before being derailed by alpacas has circulated through the higher-ups, yet nobody has said anything about a certain reference librarian's purple pantaloons. Except me. Pantaloons!
My computer was fixed for two easy payments of chocolate chip and lemon cream cheese cookies. Also I bought rum for my "Mother's Day Cake".
Some jerk at the Beale stole Superman's briefcase with his costume in it.
Showed boss the soiled anatomy book and had it confiscated, bagged, labeled as biohazard, and was ordered into restroom to scour clean. Had not occurred to self that perpetrator most likely had not washed hands to peruse remainder of book.
Marc helped me cobble the auditorium tables into a Horseshoe of Craftiness for a very successful card-making activity with snobby scrapbooking material. Browbeat xfh into bringing child to ensure own Mother's Day card. Taking this train by the horns and riding it all the way into a cliff of triumph. Also moment of bragging: my baby can write his own name.
Tonight: Pool! Jukebox! Lemons and straws!
...more room in the trunk for other people to stretch out in.
ReplyDelete???
My pockets are too small to keep people in, so special peoples shall go in my trunk instead. On my list of must-throw-in-trunk folks: Jack Black, that anime guy from Top Chef, and - newly added - Steve Carell. This is an update from the hypothetical basement - as is portable.
ReplyDeleteHad not occurred to self that perpetrator most likely had not washed hands to peruse remainder of book.
ReplyDeleteYou never know what kinds of germs lurk in library books! I've had that phobia since I was a child. I always washed my hands after handling them. Library school has kind of eased me up on this -- I just figured being around this public property all the time would somehow make me immune to all the microbes on those covers and pages! ha!
What's worse is working with special collections and archives.... Can you imagine? Yes, they're in closed stacks, but the original creators of those materials had to be doing some nasty things too. 19th-century did-not-wash-hands-after-using-the-toilet / masturbation remains?! Wonder how long it takes for those germs to die...
Anyway, this is long. The end.
Personal Pet Peeve #2 (#2 ranking instead of #1 in case something else comes along):
ReplyDeleteToilet Paper Bookmarks.
Scald my hands.