I wasn't surprised 5 years ago when John told me about his drag performances. "Giiiirl," he told me, "I could do your makeup. I'm good, for real. I can do you up glam, or I could make you look totally fishy." "Fishy?" "You know, like a girl. A wo-man." "I am a girl." "Yeah, but I could make you look like one." Last night I answered the phone and got the latest on my dear boy, who's little brother is having a very special wedding soon; "Yeah, girl, I'm ordained. Thank you internet, I'm a minister." "Wow! Does it expire?" "Nope, as long as I keep good records and don't get in trouble, I can marry anyone in the state of Hawaii forevers. Nice, eh?"
IKE-AAAH
"Smell that mountain air, suck it in. Mmmmm." We stood at a rest area outside Frazier Park, admiring the breeze while Gavin stomped around with his lip out. "I'm tired of driving." "Well, we'll let dad drive for a bit, then." As we drove on into the Left Armpit of Hell (Burbank), Mike pointed at a fire hazard sign. "Do you think it's ever not 'high'?" "Maybe when it snows? I dunno." The drive took longer than normal because Gavin thought false pee alarms would make the trip go faster, and we arrived at IKEA around noon. IKEA had it's way with us, and as we drove back over the mountain, a wall of smoke hit us, covering the highway in a white haze for more than 10 miles. The sun was a pinprick of orange. As we got back to Frazier Park, a line of firemen were spraying the wildfire. Bushes burned on the black crispy mountainside. We slowed and stared, made bad jokes about how hot we were, and decided never to move to Frazier Park after all.
tonight
Librarians On the Town Part II. Seeking further answers to pressing questions: does everyone have a cool name except me? Should I change mine to Reina Deth? How many bars downtown have pool tables, and which ones will allow me to win?
And for posterity, the week's Reference Questions Du Jours:
Where are the spiderman books for kids who can't read? Like, with no words?
Do you have a printout I can have of all your nonfiction books? Can you make one?
How much does it cost to rent a book?
Where are the books on how to kill yourself?
What do you mean 1183 minus 1133 is 50? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? It should be much higher, in the hundreds! How does that work? HOW? What kind of calculator are you using? TELL ME.
(feel free to add here, Marc.)
Heehee.
ReplyDeleteI actually just got my minister certificate as well, so that I can marry two good friends of mine next year. Ain't the internet somethin'?
Hope you're doing well, Holly.
Big hug from Salvo
Reference posterity:
ReplyDelete* I was asked for an Official Mixer's Manual for inspiring bartending folk by a father/son (?) duo--maybe a hobo and driver's ed student?--and sadly I say I don't think the young lad will pass certification for stirring . . . he definitely won't pass the "Say 'Swizzlesticks' nine times-fast!" test.
* I was asked if we had Benjamin Franklin and where we kept him . . . Must make that smartass prop of random bones in a big jar to set up on the desk for these times.
Side note: I will be slamming my hand in the Reference Deak drawer if I hear somebody saying they need a bibliography when they really are wanting a book about someone's life.