My first day in the library. I enjoyed several hours of training, learning how to retrieve media for patrons and how to shelf things back again. I enjoyed the low stress and easy pace of the work, allowing my mind to wander.
It wandered to last night, when my mother and I drove into town to pick up a man we had never met, the husband of an online friend of mine in Seattle. The fellow was definitely one of Our People, and we enjoyed a fun evening at Walmart (he needed stuff, I'm not that bad of a host). It was a shame to see him go, but someday he and his wife may return together to tear up the town with me.
My mind wandered to this morning, to the mostly-positive pregnancy test which thoroughly shook me, to the onset of my period, which ended it all. I can't say exactly how I feel about it at this point, but I'm ranging between tears of grief and sighs of relief.
But I filled out forms, read up on policy, took a tour of the building, and only thought about my knee when I bent down low to shelf a book. I ran to the car, just in time to join Mike on his trip to the dentist. Gavin was asleep, but his lip was swollen and cut where he had fallen on cobblestones at the mall. I fed him ice cream as Mike got the bad news about his broken tooth, and we drove home, quiet and ambivalent about the day.
And I don't feel like eating, and I wish I could be alone, one of the rare moments I wouldn't mind curling up on the floor with big headphones on and rage away quietly. But I'm hopeful, and tomorrow will be ok.
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