Good news: I have not been run over by the construction mob.
That said, I’m kind of in a slump.
The past 6 months of hospitals, surgery, and medication have been rough on my body image. I feel disfigured in a really intimate way - I don't know how bad the scarring is, and I don't want to find out. I've been making a point to cuddle my kids, but otherwise I don't like being touched at all, I freeze up. The weight gain has been hard to stop, and slow to come off. I'm giving it another 2 weeks to see if I keep making progress, then I'm talking to my doctor about quitting the meds. I just want to feel like myself again.
Summer plans have been finalized, and I’m trying to get excited about it. Mike is doing certification testing at the University of St Andrews in Scotland, so we’ve rented a campus apartment for a few weeks at the end of July. Due to work obligations, I’ll be leaving a few days after the family, traveling alone, and meeting them there. I don’t mind solo traveling, I just hope I can make the trip fun and memorable for the kids, not knowing anything about where I am or how to do anything.
Going to do the damn thing, though, and give it my best.
Yes, I have been wondering where you were. All of your feelings are completely understandable.
ReplyDeleteI hope that a trip to Scotland helps to set your soul a little freer.
Hang in there, Holly. You are cherished.
St. Andrews will be refreshing and by refreshing I do mean bracing! Really a lovely place, aye m'wee bonny Lass, you will have a glorious time. Eat sheepy dinners and boiled eggs in some crusty bits.
ReplyDeleteGo here to get a view of the place. He's a daily blogger. https://bobnsophie.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteHalf a Year of infirmity and surgery, Med regimens with side effects, would take a toll on anyone. I just had a Surgery and only Weeks out it's taking longer to Heal than I'd like, but sometimes our Bodies just need to take as long as it takes. I hope that you're soon feeling more like yourself.
ReplyDelete