* The turkey that had been sitting in our freezer for A YEAR was still edible.
* The paper bag I stuffed the turkey into for roasting did not catch on fire this year.
* I fed the chickens extra stuffing and felt kind of wrong about it, but they ate it without asking any questions.
* The man went on his Homeless Turkey Endeavor again this year, but let me talk him into burying a pork butt with the homeless turkeys instead of bringing home another corpse bird. My mom had to pick it up on Thanksgiving morning and had a misadventure, driving all over campus trying to find the imu and then being asked to identify the body she was claiming without knowing what it was supposed to look like. There was a lot of phone panic, but they figured it out eventually, and it was really delicious.
Things my kids were NOT thankful for:
* The cat did not put her foot in the pie this year. No perfect little paw print to laugh at, no probably-poop-contaminated piece of pie to serve to the least popular guest. I reminded them that I'm always the one who forgets and ends up accidentally eating the paw print piece, and they thought that actually tied the whole thing up pretty neatly. I told them I'd stomp on their pieces of pie, if that would help.
Things my cats were not thankful for:
* Maura got a butt gland infection and had to have her bottom shaved and squeezed out (inexpertly - but for free) by the vet tech students at the college, so she spent the holiday sitting gingerly on a cushion, growling and taking swipes at us when we got too close.
* Po was sleeping on the table when we pulled it out to add the extension pieces, and we didn't realize she was laying across one of the seams until the table opened up and she dropped through it like a bowling ball, her skinny little hind legs flailing up into the air for just a moment before disappearing from view. She told me off for collapsing onto the table, laughing.
Still mad
It was a good year. This was our first year hosting this particular feast at this particular house. The kids helped cook, the teenagers washed the dishes, my mother brought fancy cocktail ingredients and a scary diet pie (we like to have one wildcard item that is allowed to be a complete disaster), and my aunt showed us her gross almost-severed finger. It was a very familial family-type occasion, which is the best kind.
Also I have begun the process of massively overdoing it with the decorations, because I had a moment of panic when I realized that Gavin only has 4 holiday seasons left before going off to college, and I decided it was very important to overcompensate with cram-it-down-your-throat holiday decor. I'm going to assemble an entire Christmas village this year, and I'm only populating it with raccoons and bears. HOLD ME BACK.
Broccoli casseroling
Cockroach clustering.
This year's new and improved Cockroach Clusters (bacon wrapped dates) contained cream cheese and pecans. THUMBS UP.
Stuffing prepping. No fingers lost, unlike SOME PEOPLE.
The only pictures of me were the ones I took myself while drinking. As usual.
Needs more decorative gourds. And some miniature raccoons.
My aunt's deviled eggs had an accident in the car on the way over, but they tried their best.
In the background: the vase of fake flowers that Mike put water in.
My mother is head of the table and the only person who can carve the turkey without destroying it.
"Cat Foot Pie", sadly without cat foots. Recipe is here.
Some of the spread, with my stupid Pioneer lady dishes that I love so much.
The sisters, in pie remorse phase
Toad isn't impressed with my snowy garlands.
And now it is time to panic about Christmas cards! Hurray.
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