Eggnog cherry meringue pie - recipe

This is the best pie. The surprisingest pie. The pie that you can still make room for after filling your guts with meat and booze. The meringue tricks you into thinking it is light and dreamy, even though it has enough cream in it to kill you. If you're lucky. Because what a way to go.

It is also maybe not a pie to bring to a staff party, because some people are really weird about eggnog. We are weird about it, but in the "who the hell drank half a gallon of eggnog since yesterday?" kind of way.

My cat licked a hole in this one. And I don't know how that perfect hole in the middle got there. WATCH YOUR PIES.

Eggnog Cherry Meringue Pie

(based loosely on the Taste of Home raisin custard pie recipe - which is the perfect raisin pie for people who don't like raisin pies but raisins are all they have to work with)

Custard

1/2 cup sugar

3 tablespoons corn starch

1 cup eggnog

1/2 cup whole milk

1/2 cup heavy cream (or just more whole milk, if you like your arteries. Mine are a bunch of bastards.)

3 egg yolks - reserve the whites

1/2 cup dried cherries, chopped

2 tablespoons spiced rum (or a small glug, if you're a quaffer instead of a tippler)

1 pastry shell (I buy the Pillsbury pre-rolled ones, because pastry is my natural enemy)

Meringue

3 egg whites

1/4 cup sugar

Heat oven to 350 and bake your empty shell. Take it out when it's golden, about 10-15 min. While that's baking, chop your cherries and put them in a little bowl with the glug of rum to soak. Put the pie shell on a rack to cool, leave oven on.

In a large saucepan, whisk together sugar and cornstarch. Whisk in the eggnog, milk, and cream, and bring to a gentle boil, stirring until thickened. Remove from heat, spoon a few big blobs of hot cream into your egg yolks and mix them up, then pour the yolks into the pan of filling and whisk it smooth. Return to heat, stir for 2 minutes until bubbly and thick. Remove from heat, dump in the cherries & rum, give it a stir, then pour the hot filling into your half-baked pie shell.

Beat the egg whites on med-high for a few minutes, until soft peaks form. Sprinkle in the sugar as it mixes, and beat until it forms stiff peaks. Spoon it onto the custard pie, smoothing it out to seal the edges. Take the back of the spoon and flick the meringue up into cute little peaks all over the pie. Put the pie in the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, until light golden brown. Cool on a rack for an hour or two, and enjoy the little amber beads of sugar that rise to the top. If some of them are red, that is because of the cherries, not because someone was bleeding on it while you were in the other room. Also, keep the cat away. 

If you don't smash the meringue, this refrigerates beautifully for the next day.