So I went to see the doctor for the first time in years. I've reached the age where it is responsible to keep an eye on your health as it gradually rattles apart. I wrote a list of all my grievances, and put the list in my pocket, and immediately forgot about it. I should probably add "premature dementia" to the list. It wasn't until I was in the car and driving away that I realized I had forgotten to mention item #1 on my stupid damn list; the biggest problem, around which I had been doodling an agenda for my bucket list*. It's probably nothing, but COME ON SELF, how did I forget this thing?
For reference, that bucket list includes:
* Go to a painting workshop in Seattle, hosted by one of my favorite painters, Katherine Stone.
* Visit Scotland and tromp around battle sites where my ancestors died, maybe find the decrepit family castle I have heard rumors of. Drink tepid beer.
* Visit the Mutter Museum - which may lose its appeal in the context of hypothetical mortal illness, but OH WELL. College-me wanted to go, and she shall have her wishes granted.
* Eat... something. I had not decided on this, but THINGS WILL BE EATEN.
* Go to Harry Potter World with my kids. Consume all the butter beer (see above).
* Art museums. I'm not picky which. All of them.
* Never go to Maui again. (I've already started this one.)
That's all I've got so far. That should do until I can mention the thing at my next appointment - which is next week, because my doctor made the same face a mechanic makes when you do beat-box noises to describe what's wrong with your car, and he had to schedule separate appointments for every quadrant of my anatomy, just to sort out all the pings and growls. The medical center does training, and in general I am ok with being looked at by these bushy-eyed newbies, being both supportive of learning and sturdy enough that they should have a hard time killing me.** This guy was very eager to name all the tests and drugs he's hoping to try out.
"Ok, so what we are going to do," said the doctor, "is break everything down in order of greatest concern to smallest concern, and work from there."
"Actually, what I was hoping is that we could just sort of nip through all the minor things and then worry about the big things later, since they probably aren't going anywhere?"
"Ehm, no."
Kids these days.
LESSON: routine maintenance, folks. You can't pass inspection with everything duct taped in place.
- - -
*It is my superstition that in order to prevent bad things from happening, you have to act as if you expect the bad things to happen - and then they won't, just to spite you.
** Although they did kill my grandmother, who was likewise sturdy until a botched x-ray.
No comments:
Post a Comment