6 weeks

I arrived at my appointment with the baby in her sad little bucket and propped her on the floor by the exam table. One of the nurses felt sympathetic and gave me a pair of free bottles, which were technologically advanced to the point of impracticality. I sat on the exam table shaking the little rubber paddles like maracas until my doctor came in.

SimplyRidiculous

"How are you feeling?"

"Eh, OK -" here I remembered that I was not feeling ok, and had promised that I would mention it - "But my hands have been going numb, and my joints hurt. My knees don't really work. I think my knuckles may have turned into beechnuts. And I kind of have to hunch up like this when I carry the baby, otherwise my shoulders pop. And it hurts." I did it! 

"Have you seen someone for this?"

"... you?"

"Hmm. Depression?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, but at least my hair hasn't started falling out yet."

"That happened before?"

"Yes, the numb hands and bad joints and depression and hair falling out, every time."

"So do you want to take something for the depression?"

"No?"

"Should I schedule a consult for the joints?"

"Yes?"

"Ok, let us know if the depression worsens."

So I left the same as I went in, with the vague request not to kill anyone. 

Or to at least call first.