DEATH MATCH - :Made up inside my head:

Working for the government is just a long slog through paperwork. Paperwork to do more paperwork. Waiting for the faxes of that paperwork to attach to other paperwork to submit with additional paperwork. There is paperwork to save other people from doing paperwork that no longer needs to be done, and paperwork to defend yourself when they panic and cc all your bosses because they don't know how to stop doing the paperwork you're trying to spare them.

 So yesterday I started devising a resignation speech in my head. It was in all-caps, and involved stapling things to people. I said as much to sarah, and she replied, "Do the resignation with a top hat and a cane."

This is excellent advice. And coincidentally, the Internet was in need of more pictures of cats in hats.

So here I present a DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT OF RESIGNATION WHICH HAS NOT YET OCCURRED.

Scene 1: soliloquy - "fucks I do not give." 

Scene - wait, oh no. Actor is drunk.

REENACTMENT CONTINUES WITH NEW ACTOR

Good day sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Much better. It really wasn't a complicated speech.

And all resignations are better when you end them with something random and confusing. ROBOT IN A TOP HAT.