Hobbled. After 6 hours on my feet, my hip joints turned into nubby balls of pain and I found myself sitting downstairs by myself. Suddenly patrons began setting off my librarian alarms left and right: some asshole yelling into a cellphone got shushed by guard before I could hobble over; 2nd Floor Masturbator crept up the stairs and the guards went missing with me unable to abandon post; same asshole cellphone guy crouched down in front of my counter and whispered into phone until I leaned over and stared at him; man with strange hat slowly fed dollar into card machine, then turned and sprinted across library before I could hobble after him to find out what he was up to; tampon thief headed to women's bathroom, still no guard. Something is on fire. Must limp to the rescue on my own. Goddamn hip!
I hear WD-40 is a good joint remedy.
Now I don't know about no WD-40, but I'd be obliged to help with that sexy rub-down. I know of some nice massaging oil to use.
ReplyDeleteAre you coming on to me? :-o
ReplyDeleteHeh heh. I don't know, maybe step 9 has something to do with car fluids.