Annual Questionnaire 2025

1. What did you do in 2025 that you’d never done before? Did you know you can buy an entire car with a credit card? It feels like you should not be allowed to do that. 

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions?  I was kind of desperate to end the plot line I was trapped in, so I LEFT THE COUNTRY. I don’t know if the next chapter will be any good, but it’s sure as shit going to be different.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?  My young coworker, who struggled to have a baby for a long time, gave birth to Library Baby on my birthday! I knitted him a blanket and got to see his tiny little face and pink little fingers a week after he was born. Really happy for her.

4. Did anyone die?  Too many people died. Joyce, my favorite Friend of the Library. Cissy, my coworker of nearly 10 years. My grandfather - and that one took me out like a kick to the back of the knees.

5. What places did you visit? I went to Scotland, looking for escape with an art research grant, but I took the situation I was escaping from along with me. I visited Washington to be alone for a bit, paint some trees with nice people, and see if my heart would start beating again if I passed through the airport where the boy I was in love with in my 20s works now (it did not, but I don't know, maybe I would have had a stroke if I had actually run into him). I went to Newfoundland, where I finally figured out what to do.

6. What would you like to have in 2026 that you lacked in 2025? I want to sleep peacefully like a starfish in the middle of my very own bed, and feel happy and safe coming home every day. Also I need some in-person friends, because all mine live in the computer.

7. What moments from 2025 will remain etched upon your memory? Seeing my grandfather right after he died. Hugging Laurie again, and her mother. Drinking chai with Zenny in big squishy chairs while reading old books in the Memorial Cafe. The moment I decided it was time to leave (a joke he made that hit me right in the chest). Seeing Marystown as we drove in at sunset with the ocean and snowy mountains and fog.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I finally did it.

9. What was your biggest failure? It took 20 years to figure out how. TWENTY YEARS. It’s easier to understand why, though, after reading the books my therapist assigned; he doesn’t react like the cheaters in the case studies when he’s caught. He doesn’t deflect, attack, deny, or blame the partner for not giving him enough attention or getting too fat; he reacts like a golden retriever who’s just eaten the Thanksgiving turkey. It’s hard to kick a groveling dog and tell it to get the fuck away from you. Especially when you depend on that dog for survival. I’m ready to rehome him now, though.

 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only emotionally. And a cold. That better not mean I get a sinus infection the minute I get to my new job.

 
11. What was the best thing you bought?  Plane tickets and a car. (I paid off the car with savings, I’m not irresponsible with credit cards, it was just easier than an international e-transfer.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?  This was Leif's year. He got his driver's license, re-took his SATs when he wasn't satisfied with his score (then got the score he wanted), and fell in love with a really smart and funny girl. He learned to crochet just so he could make her funny little stuffies for her backpack. He's confidant, has a sense of style, plays Chopin on piano, has a plan for his life, shows love, and talks to me when he's troubled. I feel good about him making it out in the world after he graduates in a few months. (Gavin is great, too, but he has had the bad luck to hit the front lines of every social crisis - finishing high school during the pandemic, trying to get a tech internship during the rise of AI, aging out of our health insurance just in time for insurance rates to skyrocket - he's a gentle guy in a tough economy, and I worry for him - having a foot in the door in another country can only help.)

 
13. Whose behavior made you appalled?  While my aunt called us, crying, to tell us grandpa had just died, Drunk Wife piped up in the background about how long it would take to get his insurance money. HE WAS STILL IN THE ROOM.

 

14. What did you get excited about? I saved up all my excitement for years, and then cashed it in all at once. I had all the flavors of excitement: angry excitement, fearful excitement, vengeful excitement, grief-stricken-excitement, joyful excitement. I think I have had enough excitement for a bit, maybe I can start spending it in smaller amounts over a longer period of time like a normal person again.

15. What song will always remind you of 2025?  This was the song I was listening to on a walk (brushing up on my French) when I was suddenly hit with the worst pain of grief I have ever felt in my life. I thought I was going to drop dead on my neighbor's shrubbery. It didn’t really have much to do with the song, just coincided with the grief of my grandfather colliding with the grief of my marriage ending.

My 2025 playlist, in chronological order:

 

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? I hit both ends of the spectrum on this one and concussed myself. 
b) thinner or fatter?  Broke even. Stopped working out, but pants still fit. (Instead of endorphins, my body started giving me cortisol, which I already had enough of, so I took a break until the big moving stress was over.)
c) richer or poorer?  Rich in possibilities. Empty in bank account.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?  I kind of feel like this year had an excess of everything, adding to that would just be asking for a trip to the hospital.

18. What was your favorite TV program?   

Murderbot Diaries (but TOO SHORT). 

Zenny and I watched some Korean romantic comedies which are also my favorites just because I'll remember watching them with her. (King the Land, and Bon Appetit Your Majesty') 

As a family, we (re)watched The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel so Zenny could see it. Great show. I’m introducing her to Stranger Things right now.

Best non-kid-friendly watching: Welcome to Derry, and The Pitt.

19. What was the best book you read? 

It was a hard year, so I read Chuck Tingle books to unwind (Camp Damascus and Bury Your Gays, not his spicy books). Chuck Tingle is a good storyteller who writes badly, and when you're just sliiiightly loopy on sleeping aids or cold medicine it suddenly clicks. Some authors write good books, some write bad books, but there is a subset of authors who write good bad books. He's great, I love him.

I also enjoyed all the Murderbot Diaries books and novellas.

20. What did you want and get? After years of wishing, and saving, and paying things off, and checking job boards, and waiting for my kids to get old enough, I FINALLY got my one-way ticket out.
 

21. What did you want and NOT get? Ok I know I said my heart didn't start beating in that airport, but I really kind of wanted it to.

22. "So! How's your love life?"

23. What was your favorite film of this year? Sinners. Watched it twice.

 Also: A Real Pain, and Love and Monsters. My kids made me watch K-Pop Demon Hunters and ok, it was kind of rad.

 

24. Did you make some new friends this year?  I laid the groundwork for new friends. And reconnected with my childhood best friend. I am going to collect people this year.

25. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  It would have been nice if my arch enemy had fallen off a horse and popped one of her new boobs.

26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2025?  I don't think tank tops and jeans with a cardigan count as a concept, it's more of a default setting.

27. What kept you sane?  I stayed sane in the same way a person with no brakes on a steep curving cliffside road stays sane: white-knuckled and screaming. Also our couples therapist helped by taking me aside privately and telling me a few things I needed to hear.

28. Which celebrity/public figure were you into?  Well that did not happen. 

29. What political/news issue stirred you the most?   Keeping up with the news right now is like putting your hand down the garbage disposal to fish out a spoon. Even if it doesn't turn on and maim you, you're going to touch something disgusting. 

Instead, here is the list of stupid headlines that somehow made it to the front page of national news this year:

KJRH: Students serve homeless community 1 slice at a time

KJRH: Woman wants purse back from closed business

WBBH: Man riding lawn mower crashes into mailboxes

CNN: ‘Cake Bandit’ opossum hospitalized after indulging in an entire Costco cake

KOAT: Deer almost runs into skier

KSHB: Man wants raccoons as pets in Kansas

WBBH: Man turns iguana eggs into breakfast

WESH: Bear snoozes in tree outside school for hours

KABC: Celebrity dog Swaggy Wolfdog banned from Dodger Stadium after parking lot stunt

KOBI: Elementary students raise baby chicks

KCNC: Colorado celebrity alligator to be taxidermized

WVTM: Man catches fish with his hands

KOCO: Blazer donated to be turned into handbag

WTVF: Artist paints fair animals portraits in 1 hour

WLEX: Nurse gives drunk raccoon in dumpster CPR

KABC: Piles of rotting produce attracting large rats

KSBW: Salinas homeowner’s Halloween decorations repeatedly punched by jogger

WKMG Driver: I was ‘teleported’ into stolen BMW

30. Who did you miss? 

Oh, I was made of grief, and held together with anger. 

31. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2025. 

RUN TOWARDS THE DANGER.