Baltimore Day 1

When we landed in Maryland, I pulled on my hoodie and my hair popped up out of the collar in a halo of static. Even being so close to the ocean, with the air full of fat wet snowflakes, it is so dry here it’ll suck your face to your skull.

I picked up my suitcase, pulled out my big coat, and walked outside to the first cab at the curb. We were the only tracks in the snow in the hotel driveway at 7am - the driver almost drove onto the lawn because he couldn’t see where the road ended. It was too early to check in. I stowed my bag at the desk, made small talk with the clerk, and walked around the block to find a cup of decaf and a sad breakfast wrap at Dunkin. I ate it with my gloves on and got cheese on the ‘tech touch fingers’ while walking back to the lobby. I sat for an hour, trying to get my charger to work and dozing off a bit. The desk clerk suddenly started swearing and banging, and I ran to find him stuck in the airlock between the inner and outer doors, which needs a key card to open.

“There’s heating in there for people who walk in, and I was trying to see if I could get the inside door to stay open so it would let some heat in to warm up my desk,” he said when I let him in. “Man, nobody is out in this snow. I didn’t have a single walk-in last night. I did hear some screaming, though, like fuck, shit, fuck, and found this homeless guy stuck in the dumpster. He couldn’t get out, and he was having a fit. He didn’t want help, though. So I called the police, and they helped him.”

When it was close to 10am, I walked up to the museum, stopping at 7-11 for a phone charger. I waited outside the museum doors, holding my hand out to catch snowflakes on my black glove. I wished I could hold them right up to my eyeball to see the crystals like I could when I was a kid, but I could at least make out the star shapes of the larger ones. When 10am came and went, I checked the museum’s website and instagram to find they had posted about a snow day closure 45 minutes earlier. Disappointed, I walked around the building and found a memorial park filled with snowy statues, with a cathedral standing behind it. My footprints were the only ones in the snow, and the entire city was quiet and empty. It was art enough for me, and I walked back feeling happy.

Getting my film noir vibe on, 5 seconds before dropping my hat and gloves under the automatic faucet

It was lunch time, so I went to the ale house next to the hotel, listening to a pair of librarians at a nearby table talk about policies and governance as the place slowly filled up with conference-goers. My stomach thought it was 6am, and was not convinced about crab cakes. They were mushy and bland, like fried baby food. I picked the crab off the bun and thought about trying to make friends with some of the other librarians, but they seemed like admin, and I gravitate more toward front-line people who tell horrible work stories. 

$44 with the 20% tip automatically added on and a third line on the bill for “extra tip”

FINALLY I got the key cards to my room, went upstairs to throw my luggage down, and took a very hot shower. My hair was already mostly dry by the time I put on clean clothes and dropped onto one of the beds to sleep for a few hours. I have two beds, because those are the undesirable rooms set aside for conference discounts. I could stand up and bounce from one to the other, if I wanted to see how the Baltimore ER stacks up to the Chattanooga ER.

I completely forgot to go across the street and sign in to pick up my name badge and welcome packet, so I ended up at the evening reception getting manually ticked off a list to get my free drink token, looking like a gate crasher walking around anonymously among all the librarians labeled with huge lanyards. I made a bit of chit chat with the people at my table, but nothing stuck. After the presentations, everyone crowded into the lobby to line up for food and drinks. I got pushed off to the side, looking around at all the laughing people and completely failing to make friends with anyone. I finally decided to line up and get a beer so I could work up some nerve/look approachable. It did not work. It’s not that I’m shy, it’s just that the first question people ask is, “Where are you from?” and I don’t want to tell them, because I sound like an asshole and they immediately think we don’t have anything in common. I have to insert myself into a conversation that’s already happening, get them to like me with some jokes and gross library stories, and THEN drop the H-bomb. And I was just so tired. I texted my coworker to see if she was in the crowd somewhere, but she had already bailed on the event because of jet lag. I stood against a pillar, drank the beer, put it on a tray, and left. 

Well. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do better with people who are trapped at a table with me. If not, I’ll go for another walk in the snow by myself and find some damn crab that isn’t mashed into cat food.