Waimea Falls

Waimea Falls. You think a hike to a waterfall is going to be a long, muddy, arduous excursion with a risk-your-life water adventure at the end? People falling off rocks and throwing garbage on the ground and peeing on trees? WRONG. Waimea has had enough of your shit. The path is paved. There's a shuttle if grandma is too slow. Garbage cans every 50 feet. Guard rails. Changing rooms. Cafe. Mandatory life vests. Lifeguards with bullhorns, because you assholes can't listen to the one thing they told you - don't swim under the overhanging rocks that might collapse and kill you. YOU WANT ANOTHER SACRED FALLS INCIDENT? 

It was amazing. Every stupid thing an endless crowd of tourists could get up to has been accounted for and neatly managed in a way that preserves the historic and cultural significance of Waimea Valley, as well as the habitat of the endangered moorhens. 10/10 family destination if you are, like me, a massive wet blanket trying to get everyone through a day trip without anyone having a meltdown or ending up on a stretcher. I tossed my soft white librarian body into the water and made it produce some endorphins for an hour. It was great. Did not even care when Leif lost his cell phone to the murky green depths of the pool, where it will remain forever with all the other cell phones and wedding rings and bones that live down there.

Also, they have peacocks.

Add it to the lifetime to-do list, folks.