Did absolutely nothing useful. Banged the table, declared that I needed a real breakfast, and loaded everyone up for a trip to the old Barrel of Crackers. I have never been to a Cracker Barrel, and was prepared to make fun of it, but then they sat me down in front of a pair of antique wooden sock blockers and I was filled with want. Started looking around at all the other old junk affixed to the walls and had the terrible realization that I was their demographic and they had hit the target. I hate that. And I bought a bag full of nostalgic candy to bring home for my kids. Goddamn it.
Drove over to Laughlin and rode the free water shuttle to the casinos. It was 114 degrees and the Colorado river was full of sun-stroked screaming people on jet skis. We cautiously fed dollar bills into the machines, slammed the flashing buttons arbitrarily, and cashed out the minute we made any extra money. I came out $5 ahead, and the sisters made about $20 apiece. My uncle smiled patiently, shook his head, and lost $7 on a milkshake. We win.
Went out to the Dambar Steakhouse with the cousins, and Drunk Wife was on her best wobbly behavior after getting called out at the last family dinner. Chalk one up for public embarrassment.
Vacation toilet selfie proof of life:
Livin' big now!
ReplyDeleteCracker Barrel- Lord, it's something. I hate to like it but I do.
Aren't most of us the demographic of the Ole Barrel of Crackers, they really bought up all the Old Good Stuff, dammit! Dodging Sun Stroked Jet Skiiers on a Water Shuttle sounds like a demented Carnival Ride... but, it is Arizona... so...
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