Maybe we can qualify as a nonprofit

Midmorning, three days ago, Leif looked up and shushed us. “Do you hear that? It sounds like a kitten.”

There was no kitten. There were baby birds in the tree, some crooning chickens, a cooing dove, but no phantom kitten. We looked around anyway. “Huh, it really sounded like a kitten that needed help.”

A few hours later, a distressed teenager showed up at the house with a very small and desperate kitten in her passenger seat. The humane society told her they wouldn’t take unweaned kittens, her mother wouldn’t let her keep it, and Gavin is the high school ‘cat guy’, so there she was. We took it.

This is Leif’s fault. He summoned it. Luckily, he’s focusing his powers on summoning mug cakes now. He found a recipe in his mug cake cookbook that called for mayonnaise, and made an awful face, but I assured him that mayo makes a good substitute for oil in some cake recipes -  20 minutes later I got Twitter ads for mayonnaise in mug cakes. Smashed my phone with a hammer.

Babies are intense, even the ones that weigh as much as a sausage. Driving to the school today to pick up worksheet packets, I turned onto the winding road and was halfway through the snaking curves when the pavement suddenly seemed to rise up and roll like waves toward me. Realized I had slept a total of 6 hours in 3 days, and would have been safer driving tipsy. Not going out again until the night bottles stop.

Before getting completely derailed by bottle feeding, I painted another portrait of Plucky.

I wonder if painting while having sleep deprivation hallucinations would be better or worse? Like the LSD portrait experiment. But slower, and more confused, and with a call to poison control after dipping the brush into coffee and drinking paint thinner.

Probably going to pass on that.

GO TO BED