1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I painted. I became consumed by painting. I buried myself in painting books and websites and articles and history and materials and demos, and I'm not coming back.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions? This year's theme was "whatever it takes". I started shaking my fists about this being the year I would finally learn to oil paint, and ended up remodeling half the basement and my ENTIRE LIFE in pursuit of this endeavor. The world has changed its shape and color - I notice light, chroma, the drape of fabric and the brush-flicks of embroidery or bead-work. I see the arcs of movement in people's arms and hair while they talk, I am struck by moments of symmetry and arching eyebrows. Time has changed - the hours are marked by how far they are from my next underdrawing, the weeks rotate around my Mondays painting in the studio. I'm feeling things again. I hope I never get used to it.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? One of my old friend-couples went analog and had a baby while nobody was looking. Had to find out when an in-law tagged them in a photo, so THEY DON'T COUNT.
4. Did anyone close to you die? My cousin's rabbit died. She's in our yard now. Also I accidentally murdered a dove, and I still feel really bad about it. And I tried to save a cat that had been hit by a car, but he was too badly injured (I want to thank again the friends and anonymous persons who helped pay his final expenses, it meant a lot). This is a really bad question to have on a fluffy quiz.
5. What places did you visit? I went to Whidbey Island for painting and rabbit-chasing, and Maui for serendipity and Sarah-chasing. Also I guess I should count the trip to Hana, but I don't want to.
6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? A respectable garden fence that doesn't make us look like we've got a shitty grow operation in the basement. Also I want studio lighting that is so bright it makes us look like we've got a shitty grow operation going on in the basement.
7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Running behind Sarah down an alley in Paia. Walking in the Langley rain at night with the Zanzinger painting. Holding Paul's head after he was run over by a car. I spent a month solo-parenting, weeks solo-traveling, days solo-painting. This year has been a bit of an awakening.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Besides the painting (shut up about the painting), over the summer I got a job doing character design for a film company in New Zealand that pays real money and might end up on Netflix. And I illustrated another book, which was released in November. This was a good year, career-goals-wise.
9. What was your biggest failure? *elephant of marital neglect glowers at me over laptop* I am going to go with the bird murder. And letting my chickens eat radioactive paint.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Knowing it was stupid to lift weights without anyone at home to pull the barbell off my neck when I got stuck, I thought I would be very sneaky and just lift them a little bit, and nobody would be the wiser. And it would have worked, if I hadn't gotten up, turned around, tripped on a dumbbell, and clocked myself right in the face with the end of the barbell. Almost knocked myself out cold. Told everyone I was growing a horn to explain the huge goose egg in the middle of my forehead.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Plane tickets! I flew away and came back a more grounded person. GET IT. GROUNDED.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mother lost 30lbs and caused us all to jump into our exercise pants and scramble to keep up with her.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Mine, always, because I am the common denominator. If my kid is being a brat, that is my parenting. If my spouse drops the ball, I'm the one who tossed it. If my pets are peeing on the bed, I am the one not making them into fur hats. Once the problem is yours, you can work on it or shrug it off.
14. Where did most of your money go? I'm going to willfully overlook bills & preschool tuition and go with PAINT. Surprise.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Not saying paint. (It was paint.)
16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
For driving/walking:
For painting/drawing:
The most lovely song sung by a possibly drunk guy who doesn't understand English that I have ever heard
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? Holy shit, I am a blazing pillar of purpose and inspiration and general goodwill toward mankind, it is really weird.
b) thinner or fatter? Very slightly more buff.
c) richer or poorer? Kind of richer, allowing for a bit of travel. Turns out working 2 jobs means more money, who knew?
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Lifting weights. I want big punching arms. Mostly because I'm my only womanly-type art model and my skin is a bit baggy, so I figured I could fill it out with muuuuscles. If that doesn't work, I'll just haul it up off the top of my head and tie it with a ribbon.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Waiting. Waiting for Mondays, waiting for the truth after a confrontation when I already know it, waiting for an email I don't need. Just get on with things, self. Getting the hang of this.
20. What is the general state of your heart this year? I think I have turned a corner, to which I attribute - YEP, PAINTING. Nobody likes to read about feelings or dreams, so I will use dreams about feelings as a way to illustrate this thing: 10 years ago, I had recurring nightmares about pounding on a window and crying out without anyone being able to hear me, watching them walk away. A few years later, the dreams would be about wandering into a place I didn't recognize, realizing suddenly that I was inside someone else's house, and running into the person who lived there - who of course thought I was stalking them and told me to fuck off. Over time, the recurrences became infrequent and passive; just spotting someone from a distance and waving across a field or schoolyard, feeling glad or nervous. A few weeks ago, I dreamed a flood rose up in front of me and I couldn't get home. Someone walked up beside me, looked out at the storm and realized they were stuck, too, so we just sat and waited next to each other, not talking, not feeling anxious. This is good, right? I am finding my chill.
Day to day, I am working on things by not working on them - just carrying on doing art and planning travel and trusting that my love life will sort itself out eventually. Or never, and that's ok, too.
21. What was your favorite TV program? The first half of this season's Outlander kicked my guts out. So much for my chill.
However, the second half of season 3 needs to go sit in the corner and think about what it did wrong.
Runners up: the Expanse, Handmaid's Tale, Stranger Things 2, and American Gods.
22. What was the best book you read? I have been sucked into the Expanse series by James S. A. Corey. Also re-read the Handmaid's Tale and went hollow-eyed. Have been reading Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman and loving that quite a bit, too.
23. What did you want and get? A fancy $60 ergonomic palette that I am too scared to paint on!
24. What did you want and NOT get? A historical reenactment ball gown to paint an unnecessary portrait of myself in. Might have to pull out the sewing machine and figure out how to bone a bodice (leave it).
GIVE IT TO ME
24 B. What did you NOT want and get? Cockroaches that ate the wiring out of my instant pot like monsters living inside the inner hull of a space ship.
26. What was your favorite film of this year? THOOOOR. When the Immigrant Song started playing, I screamed.
Also, I was a bit late to the game with What We Do In Shadows, and it is fantastic.
27. Did you make some new friends this year? Adam Rex followed me on the twitters.
So, no. No, I didn't.
28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Those friends I didn't make. Day-to-day friends that you can go out and have coffee with. I tightened my perimeter and avoided making connections after I burned out and moved back to Oahu 5 years ago, but I think I'm just about ready. "Don't worry about making friends," Sarah said. "Do what you do, and fucking shine, and like-minded people will see you." I like that, as a life philosophy. So that's the way I'm going to go, and if nobody shows up, that's ok, because I'll still be busy doing things.
29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? Lady who sat on her palette.
30. What kept you sane? You'll never guess.
31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Gael Garcia Bernal is really funny and sweet, and Taika Waititi is probably the very best human, but I guess I have a thing for hangdog sarcastic assholes, because Miller from the Expanse made me clutch my hands to my chin in adoration.
Yes.
More yes.
MOST YES.
32. What political issue stirred you the most? Here is how I do politics, as a librarian: I scroll through the artists and authors on my twitter feed, and if everyone seems upset about something, I open up press reader. Press reader shows the physical print versions of newspapers from around the world, and I spread the big ones out on my screen, scan the headlines, consider the political slants from paper to paper and pluck out the common kernel of information, and then go find the primary source; an uncut video of the speech, the official transcript of the interview, the verified legal document, etc. I don't read opinion articles or engage in internet threads. So while I do get annoyed, disgusted, exasperated, or incredulous about various issues, I don't tend to get ragey or terrified. The issues I pay most attention to are nuclear tensions, intellectual freedom, Native Americans/National Parks, and policies or events that impact my patrons/schools/libraries. I am SUPER BORING - kind of deliberately. But I think I've got a firm and educated grasp on things. (Rule #1: don't believe everything you think.)
33. Who did you miss? Oh, this question.
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