Yesterday I went to the store for brads and came back with a weight bench and free weights. I was not looking for a weight bench. I was looking for brass fasteners, which are such an outdated office supply item that NOBODY stocks them anymore. After gesturing in exasperation at all the bradless shelves in FIVE stores, I finally ended up at the thrift store, rummaging fruitlessly through miscellaneous bags of office garbage, and ran right into someone's New Year resolution from last year - fresh and never used and all for the price of just
one of the giant free weights it came with.
POWER OF THE SEEEEECRET.
So I came home with the weight bench. And no brads.
Goddamn it. Now I need to use them. I will take a "before" shot. As soon as I find my jar of coconut oil.
The reason I am not using them
right this second, and am instead sitting on my butt writing about it, is because I am pretty sure that being home alone, drinking a beer, and getting covered in coconut oil is the best way to murder yourself with a set of free weights. I am not an expert, though. But I
will use them. SOON. TOMORROW.
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