If you give a mouse a cupboard full of crap

The man has been outside, sawing and hammering and injuring himself on the construction of an outdoor shower. I had asked if we could install a shower attachment on the tub, but that would have required knocking out a cupboard, and so he decided to erect an entire roofed structure in the back yard, instead.

I AM SUPPORTIVE OF YOUR ENDEAVOR, I yelled over the power saw, and then decided to be a good sport and destroy the kitchen in solidarity. 

Budget: whatever is left after buying groceries

Inspiration: hippie who doesn't shop at natural food stores but wants to look as if they do

What I want is this:

Jars! Plants! Shelves!

What I have is this:

*sad trombone*

Clean is free, I said to myself, opening up drawers and cabinets. We've got your average Island Family Cupboards; big plastic lychee jelly jars filled with rice, half-empty bottles of shoyu and mirin, fish sauce sitting punitively in its own corner, humidity-wilted cardboard boxes of mochiko and baking soda, jars of seasonings with the little desiccant packets from nori snacks popped into them to prevent clumping and weeping, unopened boxes of jello we are too frugal to throw away but too frightened to open (Schrodinger's cockroaches).

 for all your storage needs

It was a mess. I hauled everything out. Everything needs to be in neat little jars! I decided, putting batteries in my label maker and assembling a fleet of mason jars from my last canning episode. And then I lost control of the thing.

* Got everything onto the counter and became horrified by the state of the old shelves.

* Tried to wash shelves - ran out of spray cleaner.

* Emptied food into labeled jars - ran out of jars.

* Gathered up child to go to store for jars and spray cleaner and shelf liner.

* Arrived at store, got into kitchen section, child suddenly needed to pee.

* Nearest toilet was a brisk jog up the road to Jack in the Box - ran with child on hip.

* Made it to the toilet, a bit winded. Child became excited about chicken nuggets just as I was feeling bad about using the bathroom without buying something.

* Sat and watched child eat chicken nuggets at 9:30am. She insisted on using toddler high chair, which she got stuck in.

* Walked back to store with child, who had to balance on every curb and smell every flower. Did likewise.

* Forgot why I was in the store. Became distracted by Halloween glitter skulls. Left with two big jars, a bottle of fancy seasoning, and a discounted cat scratcher. Forgot spray cleaner and shelf liners.

* Stopped at second store. Could not find shelf liners. Overcompensated by buying three types of spray cleaner.

* Drove home, got stroller, walked to hardware store for shelf liners. Let the child choose floral liner and an orange push-pop, because I was DONE by this point.

* Got home. Put things into jars. Lined shelves. Cats got loaded on cat nip from the new scratcher and stole the backing to 9 feet of contact paper; shredded it down hallway while I reassembled the kitchen.

TA DAAAA! It's... better? 

I don't think Pinterest Bohemians are supposed to have Pam and Crisco, but OH WELL.

So that was 5 hours of work.

For one cupboard. Which is still kind of ugly and not at all bohemian.

I'm going to win, kitchen. You will see.