go sit on your bed and think about what you've done

“If you trust in yourself... and believe in your dreams... and follow your star... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

Today I got another rejection from an agent.

I know these things are subjective. And that they have interns sorting the email queries. And that it only takes one "yes". And that if you throw a lot of mud at the wall, some of it will stick. And if you leap, the net will appear. And I know that is only 2 rejections out of umpty-thousand potential agents in the world. Be the squeaky wheel. Do all the things.

So I'm not wounded and quitting, but I am feeling let down and self-critical. I'm tossing all my illustrations on the hypothetical floor and stomping around ripping out the bits that don't work and lining up the things that do. Less of this, more of this. Then I started deleting my instagram pictures, deleted all my librarian comics, and had my finger on the "delete blog" button before putting myself in time-out.

I was sitting in sulky self doubt when my phone buzzed and my editor said the potty book was going to print. Now COME ON, SELF. I'll keep pestering agents, and I'll work on another book, and I'll do one-page pieces to submit to magazines. I'll paper the walls with rejections and have a body of work to show for it, and it'll all be worth it because it's time not spent fighting with people who are wrong on facebook.


But I might delete my FB app while I'm on the rampage. Once a day I peek at it for updates about friends, and it's like sticking your face in a fan. POLITICS TERRORISTS CANCER KITTY INFANTICIDE SPORTS GLUTEN. Nooooope. I am opting out, like a grumpy old person. I should tell my mother - she hasn't had an age milestone to celebrate in a while. Well, from me. She got bifocals last week.

I'm going to go write a better children's book now. Maybe re-write the one I submitted so it is in verse. And this time I will NOT rhyme, "doo doo" with "poo", like I did in the potty book. Although that seems to have been more successful. Maybe I will add some poo and see if that works.