Also vegan: CAEK

And rum. And powdered sugar. It turns out you can make a totally regular cake without eggs or milk. Why are they even in there? Science and reasons, probably, but I can tell you this works just as well for a household "eat your dinner or you don't get dessert" dessert.

Finger snitches can attest.

I made mine from the Bake and Destroy cookbook, but here is basically the same thing, free and online so you can go make it RIGHT NOW.

6 min vegan cake 

• 1 ½ cups flour

• ⅓ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

• 1 teaspoon baking soda

• ½ teaspoon salt

• 1 cup sugar

• ½ cup vegetable oil

• 1 cup cold water or coffee

• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

• 2 tablespoons cider vinegar

Mix all those things and bake it like a normal cake. Make a frosting out of powdered sugar and rum and a bit of shortening (evidently there is a non-hydrogenated shortening that vegans use, and coconut oil would be good too, but I used a tablespoon of crisco because I hate my arteries I guess). Eat that cake. Lose weight anyway, because it's basically the only thing you've been allowed to eat all day. When the family is eating meatloaf and gravy on buttery mashed potatoes with corn, you know what you get to eat? Corn. You get the corn. But now you also get cake!

Side note: I have lost 3lbs this week. Probably because I'm slowly dying of malnutrition. Tonight I've got a nice pumpkin coconut curry, though, so that's not too bad.