Day 1: sprinted through a maze of temporary construction walls in LAX while personel popped out of panels and yelled, "Run! Run!" and flapped their hands like characters in a really crap video game. Made it to Cincinnati, which surprised us by being as hot as balls, and finally arrived in Newark to collapse onto grandma and aunt Sue. Saw a squirrel while driving home, which I found more exciting than the missing bridges and flooded fields.
Day 2: Mike left for the bachelor weekend at Lake George. Leif discovered motorized kiddie-ATVs. Gavin got onto the internet with porn-curious pre-teen cousins. I had a series of small strokes.
Day 3: Head attempted to invert itself, dragging along bits of my lungs. Crawled into couch to die, slugging bottles of Robitussin and Benedryl without regard to drug interaction or dosage. Leif ran up to wipe his nose on me periodically. There was wii bowling, and family wrestling. I was drugged enough to roll around with the mess of cousins and in-laws with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.
Night 3: Leif stopped breathing at 3am, barking out "help" and "medicine" while turning colors and going limp. Grandma called 911. We got to ride in an ambulance for the first time. I took pictures, since I would be paying for the novelty. The ER staff all stopped to sympathetically exclaim, "Oh! He's so beautiful!" as we rolled by (loved this, despite distress). He drank his steroids without complaining and we were chucked out by 7:30am. Went home and slept until noon.
Day 4: disoriented and couch-bound. Gavin did homework, Leif played with Legos, the family left to do errands. By evening we were going stircrazy, and walked across the street to the lake. There were worms and further ATV terrors and meatloaf for dinner. I had scotch.
Day 5: Went to Target, got very giddy. Went to Super Walmart, stared too much at comically appalling cross-section of humanity. Saw more squirrels. Mike got himself stranded in Suffern after the rehearsal dinner. Nobody was surprised.
This is all sort of un-vacationy for a vacation, but I have spent much less time staring moodily up the road and retracing old footsteps in the driveway this time. Also, there is family drama, which has turned into an unexpected opportunity for sisters-in-law to finally have something in common to bitch about. I am pushing for a car egging or run-by kick in the shins. (Next update from police station.)
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