• Fell out of the car again. Considering cleats.
• Was almost killed by a pit bull: rounded blind curve and veered out of path of careening truck; slavering dog whizzing perilously past my window. If I were to be killed by an animal, being bludgeoned by one would probably be the way to go. Unless it were a hamster, or other very small animal which would require either a cannon blast or hours of effort to finish the job.
• Got another book project*.
• Patron in scanty shorts rested his testicles on my desk.
• Bought a new pack of red pencils online. Spent almost an hour agonizing over what to add to get free shipping (6 dollars - NEED TO SPEND 6 DOLLARS), stamping out the joy of purchasing precious effing carmine pencils.
• Ate half a tub of fat free whipped topping. Yes, I know it is made of hemorrhoid cream.
• Couldn't finish sewing tart dress because there are no zippers on the island. Probably because the governor laid off the zipper inspectors.
• Swore at governor on television because she is laying off 1,800 more people instead of raising taxes a bit because "it wouldn't be good for businesses". But cutting our pay, furloughing every state agency, closing schools, and laying off thousands of people is JUST GREAT. Now I am going to go close my head in the fridge because I just ranted about politics.
* Task: figure out how to wedge prehistoric beasts into a board book format. I'm thinking...
Still working on concepts.
Damn, can't a man rest his testicles on a desk these days without getting flack for it? His testicles get so damn TIRED dangling there all day long.
ReplyDelete(p.s. - The bullet point about testicles made coffee come through my nose. That is all.)
I had to talk to him with a straight face, and not goggle at his niblets! Considered poking them off with a pencil, but then he might do it again.
ReplyDeleteI just don't know what to say. The memory of the first time that happened to me came flooding back. What a grody visual.
ReplyDeleteOh, man. You cracked me up! Have fun with those new red pencils!
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived Hana and had a really busted up maui cruizer, I would sometimes take the back way (toward Kipahlu) to go to Kahului. Less traffic out there. And past Kaupo I think dinosaurs still live. Maybe you could go there and sketch their hatchlings.
ReplyDelete