I dreamed I was screaming for help while being killed, and nobody came. In movies you trust that the hero will either rescue or be rescued in the nick of time, proof that wholehearted trust pays off. I remember when Christmas used to come with that feeling of real magic, as certain as stepping through a wardrobe into snow, and I remember finding and trusting my One True Love with every nugget of my heart. I miss that. Christmas and True Love are similar; they still exist after you find out about them, you can enjoy them and conjure up wisps of that old feeling, but it isn't all-encompassing, and it isn't here to stay.
Yes, it's official: I'm having the holiday blues. It's the feel-sorry-for-yourself time of the year, where despite all the cookies, music, hugs, and family, it's still easier to notice all the people who aren't writing or missing you, and to wish for month-long holiday vacations while working on Christmas Eve and scarfing down cheap chocolates in the staff room. I will not give in! I will fight, with rolling pin and candy thermometer and costco bag of cocktail weiners! I can do this.
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