Things I will soon miss about Hawaii which annoy me now:
• The 4 o'clock Bob. All Bob Marley, all radio stations, every afternoon at 4:20. I knew every word to Buffalo Soldier long before I came here and had it shoved down my throat - thank you DJ Maleko for killing the magic. But at least now I know how to 'skank' at high school dances.
• The Shaka-Cut. Versatile driving technique in which you stick your hand out the window, shaka, and then do whatever the fuck you want.
• Honda boys. Nothing is more relaxing than the sound of drag racers at 2am, followed by ambulance sirens at 3.
• Eat or else. The office snack table is always filled with food I can't eat. Elaborate, steaming buffets appear at every staff meeting, baby shower, evening get-together, or casual conversation. I am only annoyed that I can't eat it all, I do like the culture of good and plentiful food. In Seattle someone got up before the conference lunch and announced, "Everyone please only take ONE wrap and choose ONE dessert, thank you" and my eyes shriveled a little. Mainland barbecues serve hot dogs. HOT DOGS.
• The Aloha Spirit. This is the spirit which drives people to shoot their neighbor's dog for barking, run over tourists, scream "GO HOME YOU FUCKIN' HAOLE" in the Ross parking lot, and otherwise make life spicy and interesting. Especially when coupled with the lethal "Christmas Spirit" from September to December.
Hawaii, farewell. I will return some day.
"Shaka Cut" works in Southern California too. I think people assume you are shooting Satan gang signs Richard Ramiriz-style and they get out of the way rightquick.
ReplyDeleteyuri - that's way awesome. I need to try that. :D
ReplyDeleteA neighbor once shot our dog for barking. I didn't know it was common affair. :/
-H
Don't worry, honey. We have drag-racin' Honda boys here too.
ReplyDelete