Tonight I'll be putting on a black dress and going out with my mother and grandfather to eat dinner and see The Flying Dutchman. I'll even enjoy a margarita out of plastic stemware during the intermission.
Yesterday, Gavin and I went to the library to pick up my books for class, and arrived just in time for Toddler Storytime. I felt like such a proper parent. Afterwards, I spent most of my day reading Name Me Nobody, which was a very nostalgic trip back to high school in Hawaii - if my high school days had involved shoplifting diet pills. My assignment was to evaluate the figurative language in the book, but a more bluntly written piece of fiction you couldn't ask for. Somehow I'll have to write a paper on the couple of metaphors in the text. Or maybe I'll be talking about the lack of figurative language. Bluntly.
This last stage of my weight loss journey is taking an incredible amount of force and willpower. My metabolism has thrown up its arms and given up. I will try to keep going. Fraction of a pound by bloody fraction of a pound, if needs be. Sometimes I wonder when a hobby becomes an eating disorder, but I don't think I'm quite there yet.
But I'm lonely. I miss Mike, and I'm sad that we can't find the time to go out to dinner for our anniversary.
"I just don't know what to do."
ReplyDeleteDo you mean "I just don't know what to do instead of having sex." or am I just a pervert? Oh right, I am a pervert. Nevermind.
(crfullmoon here)
ReplyDeletePlease don't go the diet pill route.
Your family needs you healthy, and it is not about the numbers on the scale at this point.
You're fine!
Oh, I'm ok. I know it's completely wrong to think about pills. I don't think I could bring myself to buy them anyway. I'm really not at a bad place with my body anymore, at this point I'm just running on vanity. As the weather warms, I'll find more time for swimming, so perhaps muscle tone will make up for the change I want to see.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, anon is a perv. I am the queen of coming up with things to do to avoid having sex. I just don't know what to do about that.
(glinka here)
ReplyDeleteI love Name Me Nobody. There's a lot of new good Hawaiian YA fiction these days, isin't there? What class is it for (my library school buddy)
And...sorry body stuff is going rough. I could never do any sort of diet plan, like WW, because it would so easly become too obsessive for me. Just keeping kosher or being vegan were pushing it in my past, honestly. I wish I had a magic way to make you feel hott and sexual, tempest. You know we all see you that way, but unless it feels true to you...?