I found my Heavy mix, the tape I listen to in the car when nobody is with me because it would be too much like them watching me drive naked. I'm not even that much of a music fan, but this mix of Led Zeppelin, Alice Cooper, Deep Purple, and Janis Joplin can shine me up until I become a smooth blur.
I arrived at the library this way, and then went into my work trance. There wasn't a bad thought in my head, nothing outside of the job at hand and the people around me, until I clocked out and walked into the evening several hours later.
Ok, fine, I'm hurt. I'm mad and isolated and unable to summon up any kind of sympathy. Mike has no words to offer me. I don't know what I want him to say, but his tight lipped shrugging and helpless "I love you?" only make me more angry. I don't know what to do but ride this out alone, feeling like a sulky teenager - me against the world - pathetic and ridiculous and inconsolable. I need to take myself by the shoulders and shake it off, because this can't go on.
crfullmoon~
ReplyDeleteHugs (((Tempestpilot)))
(From a land of snow, and snow,
and probably cold rain soon...)