DIY emergency vet proceedures

I have read A Day No Pigs Would Die and All Creatures Great and Small and been glad I never have to be armpit-deep in a cow. I have had a mishap during birth and had my doctor's hand up to the forearm to find torn pieces inside me and had space in my thought between the screams to decide that midwifery would not be the life for me.

So this holiday weekend hasn't been a great one so far, but everyone made it out alive, and the facebook thread it spawned is the best (worst?) one I've had since the Robotripping Cake Incident (I'll dig that one up some time).

For posterity, here is the Guess What/Chicken Butt Fiasco (names of other people redacted. Not even really sure why I edited my own last name, but I did):

Reply to anal gland comment was, "Ask me why I had latex gloves on hand in the first place". SEE.

5am pictures with exhausted chicken and devil egg:

So another rite of passage has been successfully navigated. I feel moved by the universal nature of this kind of suffering. The weak, strained sounds as she pushed fruitlessly, the way she cried for help and then endured my uncomfortable prodding, the exhausted relief when she fell asleep against my arm afterward. I know those feels, little chicken. I liked her before, but I really do love her now.