Banned Books Week has never been more timely

I've been all hepped up on intellectual freedom proclamations, running around slapping quotes and big red construction-paper cutouts of flames all over the library - we look like a really subversive and low budget auto detailing shop.

Quotes like:

 Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings. (Heinrich Heine)

and:

Every silencing of a heresy, every enforcement of an orthodoxy, diminishes the toughness and resilience of American society and leaves it less able to deal with controversy and difference. (American Library Association)

and: 

 Banned Books Week celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one's opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular and stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of those unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints to all who wish to read them. (American Library Association)

I have opinions about politics and religion and science and justice like anyone, but whether I agree with you or not, I will throw myself in front of the flammenwerfers when they come for your books. 

To protect it, mostly.

I explained the Banned Books Week Proclamation at the Friends of the Library meeting, and showed them my display. "Unsurprisingly, sex, religion, and race are the topics which result in the most challenges," I said. One of them nudged me in the ribs, "How do they feel about potty training books?" SAD FACE, ED. People seem to like toilets just fine. I've been in two newspapers now for this cute little butt book, and I'm happy about that, but I did go straight home and wrote a "hold my balls" joke about meatballs into my comic book. It's like Neil Gaiman said, "You work at getting your books burned and I'll work on getting banned. We're only as good as our goals."

Not banned. Yet. I HAVE GOALS, ED.