My father flies in today. The last time we saw each other was in Indiana when I was 19, which was 14 years ago. Jumping Jesus.
So I decided to get fancy with my mom's semi-permanent eyeliner. And I did it wrong. And now it will not come off now. Pretty sure the only way to correct this will be to slab on more layers of it.
What's the big deal here? IT WILL NOT COME OFF.
Nobody will notice, though, because I can just yank up my shirt and make them clap their hands over their eyes with the cat's horrific attempt to carve my stomach open.
Kind of like this, except more like a couple of small cat scratches.
While driving to my doctor's office with lopsided eyes, I stopped at an intersection and saw our neighbor - the one who is maaaaybe dealing drugs to local school kids next to our mailbox - waiting for the pedestrian crossing. The light turned green, and he walked right across my path as I turned left. A brief and fierce internal battle erupted. I could run over him! And then get out and ask if he's ok while rummaging his pockets for drugs! Who needs sneaky detective shoes when you have vehicular manslaughter? He trudged toward the elementary school, and I drove on, huffing in disappointment.
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