The man returned from the airport on Friday with a bottle of Costco vodka. He carried it around like a baby for about half an hour, drank a bit of it, became addled with delight (and, you know, vodka), and ended up baking a coconut cake, which he frosted with a steak knife.
Kirkland vodka: possible side effect
Sunday was a day of firsts. First poop in the potty (Leif's). First grey hair (the man's). First day of weigh-ins (145 & 164 lbs), yoga (20 minutes before Leif started knocking us over like lawn ornaments), and jogging/strolling/running from pit bulls, to start off this year's round of oh-shit-it's-summer-already fitness mania. Also, unrelated, I got to see the neighbor pee under our window.
But best of all: the new batch of homebrew was ready. This time around, Mike diluted a few bottles just for me, which knocked the Honey-Vanilla Ale to about 4 percent alcohol, down from just over 9 percent and SWEET JUMPING JESUS IT IS THE GREATEST BEER IN THE WORLD. My thanks to the three jumbo honey bears who gave their lives for this brew.
Why I don't care that he can't pronounce 'monogamy'.
The weekend was just about every kind of fantastic. I even got cussed out by a family of mongoose, in surly-enchanted-woodland-creature manner.
In the evening we lit the grill, put on some music, taught the infink to play rummy, enjoyed a cold pint, and debated the people we would most enjoy punching in the face. Intellectuals and sophistocates are we.
Okay, now I don't know what I'm more confused about - the "extra kid" thing, or the "neighbor peeing under the window" thing.
ReplyDeletesorry! Clarification:
ReplyDeletea) Mike's 10-year-old niece is coming to visit. For a month. I haven't really been able to articulate this whole development because - augh, we are going to be responsible for a preteen girl for an entire month! *flail*
b) I was enjoying my [sadly decaf] coffee at 6:45am and heard the guy downstairs wake up, yawn-fart, open the screen door, and let out a nice long pee. On the lawn. I glanced out the window and saw his pale little wiener in mid-action. Erlack. Walking to the toilet is hard, I guess.
a) Sounds like fun! Or not.
ReplyDeleteb) I think I'd have to move if I saw something like that. Bleerrrrch.
My mouth just watered with the picture of that honey beer - mmmmmm...... and it's 8:34 in the morning. Do you think Borders would care if we drank that during "book day"??
ReplyDeleteI want to be 145 pounds!!
ReplyDeleteMe, too. I mysteriously gained .8 lbs, while Mike has lost 2. Rarr.
ReplyDeleteThis guy articulates our eating practices pretty perfectly, just substitute "diet soda and hot tea" for "green tea". Also minus all the exercise.
ReplyDeletehttp://deadspin.com/5545674/the-public-humiliation-diet-a-how+to