Mutual humiliation

last day in New York.

We climbed into the minivan for a drive down to breakfast. My head was bobbling like a water balloon full of hurt on my jetlagged body. Caffeine was still an hour's drive away. And lo! there was a half-full bottle of Coke Zero, abandoned in the driver's cup holder from two days before. It was probably Sue's, but she didn't need it as badly as I did. I cracked it open (still fizzy!) and took a bolstering slug, then put it back. Aaah, better. Except, no. The man-person ratted me out. "She didn't know who's it was, she just drinks it anyway!" Sue didn't laugh as hard as he did. Because he had just told her I was basically eating her garbage. Add to this - about 7 years ago, I had a gap in my back teeth that had been left over from getting my braces off, and it was the bane of my meat-eating existance. I was like a dragon with splintered knight's limbs always getting stuck in my back teeth. One time, at the lake, I used the corner of a photograph as a flossing device. That picture - which was MINE - happened to be of Rob and Stacy. Mike decided it would be soooo funny to tell Rob and Stacy about how I had picked pork out of my teeth with their heads. They did not laugh, either. Yesterday at the airport, I told him that if he ever humiliated me to his family again, I would let him know with a secret signal. "I'll tell them the tartar sauce story." He shrugged. "I'll tell them the magical vomit fairy story." He looked slightly worried, but not enough. "I'll just start making shit up." He said, "I promise I'll try not to humiliate you anymore." "Thank you."